1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:45,104 --> 00:00:47,271 You're always thinking about other people and never about my family. 4 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,479 Don't you dare ruin our son's name day...and Grandpa's too. 5 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:53,979 No, no! I never missed any of your family's celebrations. 6 00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:56,521 Don't worry, everything is under... 7 00:00:56,604 --> 00:00:58,437 Yeah... Control. 8 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,840 You are the cross I have to bear! 9 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:01,687 Where are you? 10 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:04,271 I went to donate blood for Minguccio's uncle. 11 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,720 Thank you, Jusuf. Thank you so much. Thank you. 12 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:11,039 You should've been a social worker. 13 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,400 Listen, don't dare respect the speed limit. 14 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,080 - Where's my picture? - In front of me. 15 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,400 - What does it say? - Drive fast. 16 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,680 Exactly. Step on it! 17 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,104 Are you sure you don't want this? 18 00:01:23,104 --> 00:01:24,271 There's pork in it. 19 00:01:24,271 --> 00:01:25,854 No, it's custard. 20 00:01:25,896 --> 00:01:27,937 Lard is pork. 21 00:01:28,146 --> 00:01:31,146 I also promised Rita I'd go to Castel del Monte and pick her up. 22 00:01:31,187 --> 00:01:32,146 Her car broke down. 23 00:01:32,271 --> 00:01:35,271 When Maria finds out, you're dead! 24 00:01:35,271 --> 00:01:36,896 Nah! Everything is under... 25 00:01:36,979 --> 00:01:38,396 Yeah, control. 26 00:01:39,104 --> 00:01:43,562 My political opponents ask, "Why doesn't Mezzasoma have a party HQ?" 27 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,646 - Go ahead, ask me why. - Why? 28 00:01:45,729 --> 00:01:46,604 Good question! 29 00:01:47,021 --> 00:01:52,104 Because Mezzasoma is Mariotto, he's the people, the square, the café! 30 00:01:57,312 --> 00:02:01,146 And after years in opposition on the council, as you know, 31 00:02:01,229 --> 00:02:06,729 the time has come to grab the town from these fucking reformists! 32 00:02:09,937 --> 00:02:11,103 Bravo Mario! 33 00:02:11,728 --> 00:02:13,521 - These assholes. - Good! 34 00:02:13,687 --> 00:02:16,396 - Excuse my French... - Don't worry. 35 00:02:16,396 --> 00:02:18,103 ...but there's no other word for them. 36 00:02:18,103 --> 00:02:19,896 We already have five candidates on our ticket... 37 00:02:20,146 --> 00:02:24,437 Six, you idiot. Six candidates who will support me for mayor. 38 00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:26,603 And we'll hit the jackpot, Officer! 39 00:02:26,687 --> 00:02:27,603 I wish! 40 00:02:27,978 --> 00:02:31,812 I already smell the power. I smell the victory. 41 00:02:31,812 --> 00:02:34,771 All I can smell is the usual bullshit. 42 00:02:34,978 --> 00:02:39,021 Mine is a glorious crusade to climb higher in the polls, 43 00:02:39,187 --> 00:02:40,728 my dear Professor Ferrara. 44 00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:44,812 The polls reported here in the Mariotto Mirror, which you own. 45 00:02:44,853 --> 00:02:48,687 But I have yet to see a real program. 46 00:02:48,771 --> 00:02:51,103 Professor, we don't need a program 47 00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:58,062 when we have candidates like the hairdresser Michele Del Vino. 48 00:03:00,062 --> 00:03:02,604 Michele! Michele! Michele! 49 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:10,603 Leader of the movement "Esthetics Forever". 50 00:03:10,603 --> 00:03:14,187 Michele! Michele! Michele! 51 00:03:15,021 --> 00:03:15,853 Silence. 52 00:03:17,103 --> 00:03:19,562 Peace and light. 53 00:03:20,187 --> 00:03:22,312 Telephone and gas. 54 00:03:23,062 --> 00:03:24,812 What the fuck are you wearing, Michele? Come on! 55 00:03:24,896 --> 00:03:28,478 Giovanni the sacristan is my witness. 56 00:03:29,853 --> 00:03:33,521 Don Nicola wants me on the cross again this year. 57 00:03:33,978 --> 00:03:36,187 Yes, and he's not the only one. 58 00:03:36,937 --> 00:03:38,687 Come on, guys, please! 59 00:03:39,562 --> 00:03:44,146 I want to confess an intimate secret. 60 00:03:44,228 --> 00:03:46,687 Easy there, we're in the middle of an election campaign. 61 00:03:46,937 --> 00:03:48,978 Everybody knows his secret, Mario. 62 00:03:50,771 --> 00:03:52,603 Come on, guys, please. 63 00:03:53,562 --> 00:03:59,312 I took an acting class to learn the method of American actors. 64 00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:03,229 This year I will make you cry. 65 00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:08,521 That's an improvement, last year you made us vomit. 66 00:04:10,646 --> 00:04:12,187 Go, Michele, go! 67 00:04:12,187 --> 00:04:14,478 "Esthetics Forever"! 68 00:04:14,478 --> 00:04:17,271 Michele! Michele! Michele! 69 00:04:17,646 --> 00:04:19,146 Professor... 70 00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:24,479 Our candidate will play Jesus in the procession, 71 00:04:24,479 --> 00:04:26,562 of course, in a secular state, 72 00:04:26,687 --> 00:04:29,146 so don't take it as a crusade against you Jews. 73 00:04:29,187 --> 00:04:32,854 You obviously flunked all your language and history classes. 74 00:04:32,979 --> 00:04:37,604 By the way, what is your brother-in-law, the priest, doing? 75 00:04:37,771 --> 00:04:41,854 Don Nicola is opening all the windows and doors to the immigrants! 76 00:04:42,896 --> 00:04:46,771 Like the Moroccan who runs the Internet Café 77 00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:52,687 and who was also allowed by someone to marry his daughter... 78 00:04:53,104 --> 00:04:57,396 He has Italian citizenship. He's not a loafer. 79 00:04:58,062 --> 00:05:00,396 And he's not Moroccan, he's Jordanian. 80 00:05:00,646 --> 00:05:03,687 Jordanian, Moroccan... They're all the same. 81 00:05:04,687 --> 00:05:05,937 There he is. 82 00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:11,104 He was about to mow down our Jesus Christ. 83 00:05:11,271 --> 00:05:13,062 That says it all! 84 00:05:18,354 --> 00:05:19,812 Yes, it's a great building. 85 00:05:19,854 --> 00:05:24,187 It's a fusion of Northern European and Middle Eastern elements. 86 00:05:24,229 --> 00:05:27,062 Fredrick II had friends who were Christian, Jewish and... 87 00:05:27,146 --> 00:05:28,437 - Hello, good morning. - Hey, man! 88 00:05:28,646 --> 00:05:30,396 - Where do you think you're going? - I have to pick up Rita. 89 00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:33,854 Pay your ticket first. You think I'm here for fun? Come here. 90 00:05:34,771 --> 00:05:37,562 ..And Muslim. Excuse me, please. 91 00:05:37,562 --> 00:05:40,229 Don’t you recognize me? Didn’t you see the van? 92 00:05:40,479 --> 00:05:42,562 Jusuf! What are you doing? Why are you paying the ticket? 93 00:05:42,687 --> 00:05:43,979 Listen, he just came to pick me up. 94 00:05:44,104 --> 00:05:46,104 - I told you, brother. - Brother? 95 00:05:46,104 --> 00:05:47,812 I've never seen you in my life! 96 00:05:48,687 --> 00:05:52,521 Miss, tick the right name on the ballot and you'll get a pension. 97 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,979 - Miss... - Please! 98 00:05:56,187 --> 00:05:57,437 She's a bitter... 99 00:06:01,187 --> 00:06:03,437 Mr. Mayoral Candidate, 100 00:06:03,771 --> 00:06:08,687 I'll put a cross on your name, forever! 101 00:06:09,021 --> 00:06:11,812 Don't move. Stay there, Tonino. 102 00:06:12,521 --> 00:06:18,021 We won't be provoked by the unmentionable! 103 00:06:18,687 --> 00:06:21,521 Where are you going? You want to waste flyers? 104 00:06:21,646 --> 00:06:23,479 - Hello, Christian. - Hey, Ahmed. 105 00:06:23,562 --> 00:06:25,771 Look who he's with. He hangs around the kebab shop. 106 00:06:25,771 --> 00:06:28,146 You want to waste flyers on people like that? 107 00:06:29,729 --> 00:06:30,729 Maria... 108 00:06:32,896 --> 00:06:33,812 Maria... 109 00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:36,771 ..more beautiful every time I see you. 110 00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,521 You look terrible there. 111 00:06:38,812 --> 00:06:40,771 - They put the posters up wrong. - Here as well. 112 00:06:40,854 --> 00:06:42,729 It's badly Photoshopped. I told him... 113 00:06:46,312 --> 00:06:47,396 He's so cute. 114 00:06:47,854 --> 00:06:50,146 It looks like you made him all by yourself. 115 00:06:50,229 --> 00:06:51,937 He stole your father's face. 116 00:06:52,062 --> 00:06:54,604 Sure. And now I'm gonna rip off his father's. 117 00:06:54,812 --> 00:06:59,146 I'll give you a hand with that. You know your pain is my pain too. 118 00:07:01,271 --> 00:07:02,646 - I'm sorry. - Don't worry. 119 00:07:04,396 --> 00:07:06,062 I wanted to thank you for the ride. 120 00:07:07,479 --> 00:07:08,312 Bye, honey. 121 00:07:12,229 --> 00:07:12,812 Hey. 122 00:07:13,896 --> 00:07:14,854 I'm sorry... 123 00:07:15,896 --> 00:07:16,646 Honey! 124 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,771 Don't forget second-hand things that have been round the world 125 00:07:19,854 --> 00:07:23,562 and haven't found a place are damaged goods! 126 00:07:23,687 --> 00:07:26,229 Don't start again. She's just a friend. I only gave her a lift. 127 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:32,229 Sure. It starts with a lift and ends with lifting up something else. 128 00:07:33,062 --> 00:07:35,937 Excuse me. Jusuf, I wanted to remind you about tonight. 129 00:07:35,937 --> 00:07:38,187 The meeting with Don Nicola, for the Way of Sorrows. 130 00:07:38,229 --> 00:07:41,604 - Yeah. - See you. Goodbye. 131 00:07:42,354 --> 00:07:45,854 You really want to end up on the cross? I'll hammer the nails in! 132 00:07:48,396 --> 00:07:50,687 Hurry up! We're late. 133 00:07:55,521 --> 00:07:57,354 Eat everything or you'll hurt Mum's feelings. 134 00:07:57,396 --> 00:08:00,271 And ours too, Giuseppe. 135 00:08:00,854 --> 00:08:01,729 Cheers! 136 00:08:01,979 --> 00:08:03,854 - Grandpa, no! - Dad, dad! 137 00:08:04,104 --> 00:08:06,021 Always with a glass in your hand! 138 00:08:06,396 --> 00:08:07,937 God forbid he doesn't eat! 139 00:08:08,312 --> 00:08:11,771 I've been cooking all day. And now it's cold. 140 00:08:11,771 --> 00:08:14,479 He went to donate blood. That's why we're late. 141 00:08:15,687 --> 00:08:19,021 Then drink this red wine and you'll get your strength back. 142 00:08:19,021 --> 00:08:20,729 You're staining my tablecloth! 143 00:08:20,729 --> 00:08:22,312 Mom! The baby's sleeping! 144 00:08:22,312 --> 00:08:24,280 I don't drink alcohol. I'm Mus...ah! 145 00:08:26,062 --> 00:08:30,229 But in church you do drink the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, 146 00:08:30,229 --> 00:08:32,220 praised be His name, don't you? 147 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,062 Bottoms up! 148 00:08:34,437 --> 00:08:36,395 Again with that glass in your hand! 149 00:08:36,395 --> 00:08:41,979 Giuseppe, drink for me as well since you're allowed to. 150 00:08:42,562 --> 00:08:45,729 And don't forget, wine helps with the schlong! 151 00:08:46,229 --> 00:08:48,187 Come on, drink! Don't make a fuss! 152 00:08:51,979 --> 00:08:54,146 You should have married Mezzasoma. 153 00:08:54,146 --> 00:08:57,146 - Better than this Buddhist. - Muslim. 154 00:08:57,146 --> 00:08:59,937 Same thing. They're all going to hell. 155 00:09:00,312 --> 00:09:02,437 Giuseppe, let me understand something... 156 00:09:02,604 --> 00:09:07,646 Do you circumcise Paolino to your custom? 157 00:09:07,646 --> 00:09:14,354 Hey, what? Do you want to cut off my nephew’s penis tip? He bears my name! 158 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,437 - No, I... - What are you talking about? 159 00:09:17,854 --> 00:09:19,604 About cutting dicks! 160 00:09:19,937 --> 00:09:20,979 About traditions... 161 00:09:20,979 --> 00:09:21,646 Dad! 162 00:09:21,646 --> 00:09:23,479 Jusuf, tell Grandpa 163 00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:26,562 that you're helping Don Nicola with the Way of Sorrows. 164 00:09:27,271 --> 00:09:28,560 Ah, good man. 165 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:31,562 Then God is with us. 166 00:09:32,146 --> 00:09:33,521 And so is the Virgin Mary! 167 00:09:33,521 --> 00:09:37,187 - Here you are! - No, thanks. 168 00:09:37,187 --> 00:09:38,146 Mom! 169 00:09:38,146 --> 00:09:40,140 You know Jusuf doesn't eat pork. 170 00:09:40,979 --> 00:09:44,854 - What pork? This is wild boar. - It's the same thing! 171 00:09:45,604 --> 00:09:48,229 A boar and a pig are the same thing now? 172 00:09:48,229 --> 00:09:51,021 Don't tell me. I killed that boar. 173 00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:53,937 - Bang, bang, bang! - Hey, don't yell! 174 00:09:54,062 --> 00:09:56,854 - And I cooked it in brandy! - But that's alcohol! 175 00:09:56,854 --> 00:09:59,187 - Come on, drink! - What the fuck! 176 00:10:00,937 --> 00:10:02,479 Apulian Richard Gere!! 177 00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:06,396 Hey, Silence! 178 00:10:24,229 --> 00:10:25,437 Never mind. 179 00:10:27,479 --> 00:10:28,937 Hey, shut up! 180 00:10:29,271 --> 00:10:30,354 We have to start. 181 00:10:30,687 --> 00:10:32,729 I don't see the need for these primaries. 182 00:10:32,729 --> 00:10:34,396 The candidate has already been chosen. 183 00:10:34,396 --> 00:10:36,521 - Who is he? - What's his name? 184 00:10:36,562 --> 00:10:38,040 We want his name! 185 00:10:43,062 --> 00:10:45,729 In Mariotto, Mezzasoma already has six candidates on his ticket! 186 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:48,187 But he doesn't have a program. Only talk and promises... 187 00:10:49,146 --> 00:10:50,854 - What? - Can you hear me? 188 00:10:50,854 --> 00:10:56,146 I have a program: "In time of crisis, weekends for everybody!" 189 00:11:01,687 --> 00:11:06,396 Thus speaks the American Gigolo of local politics! 190 00:11:06,854 --> 00:11:09,229 The whore of political compromise. 191 00:11:10,021 --> 00:11:12,437 Open your ears, greybeard. 192 00:11:13,354 --> 00:11:15,562 Your wind turbines aren't moving, 193 00:11:15,562 --> 00:11:18,479 but the money's moving in your pockets 194 00:11:18,479 --> 00:11:21,104 and those of your partner-candidate! 195 00:11:22,271 --> 00:11:25,896 I have proof! I've got the proof! 196 00:11:26,229 --> 00:11:27,562 Shut up! 197 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,560 - I've always said it... - Yes? 198 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,104 in time of crisis, 199 00:11:31,104 --> 00:11:36,104 the future of Mariotto lies in composting with earthworms. 200 00:11:36,104 --> 00:11:38,896 Again with these fucking worms! 201 00:11:39,646 --> 00:11:41,104 Get out. 202 00:11:41,562 --> 00:11:45,104 You're a whore, not our leader. 203 00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:49,021 We want a fighter who's not mainstream. 204 00:11:49,021 --> 00:11:54,479 A true left-winger willing to strip down to his underwear 205 00:11:54,479 --> 00:11:57,354 to defend the farmers and the workers! 206 00:11:58,271 --> 00:11:59,437 Silence! 207 00:11:59,437 --> 00:12:00,187 Shut up! 208 00:12:01,646 --> 00:12:03,937 And who would this new messiah be? 209 00:12:04,187 --> 00:12:06,354 You're looking at him, greybeard! 210 00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:27,646 Salam, comrades! 211 00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:29,520 You heard the latest? 212 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,854 Not even Esterino's dog wants to vote for him. 213 00:12:34,812 --> 00:12:36,021 By the way, do you vote? 214 00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:37,600 - Let's hope so! - I wish! 215 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,646 Well, then. When the time comes... 216 00:12:40,479 --> 00:12:41,640 Salam alaykum. 217 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:45,312 Here comes your brother, the man with the fake smile. 218 00:12:45,312 --> 00:12:46,760 Paolino? 219 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,062 I bet your sister-in-law didn't let him come, as usual. 220 00:12:49,062 --> 00:12:52,062 Hey, Giselle. How did the name day celebration go? 221 00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:54,771 Did you gobble up the wild boar? 222 00:12:54,771 --> 00:12:55,937 Wild boar? 223 00:12:55,937 --> 00:12:57,021 I didn't eat it. 224 00:12:57,021 --> 00:12:58,312 Name day? 225 00:12:58,312 --> 00:13:01,687 - It's a celebration like any other. - We don't celebrate name days. 226 00:13:01,687 --> 00:13:04,604 Watch it, brother, you're becoming too Italian. 227 00:13:04,604 --> 00:13:07,521 Yet Muslims do honor the chosen of Allah. 228 00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:08,687 Christian, hush! 229 00:13:09,187 --> 00:13:11,479 Give him a break. All this fuss for a name day! 230 00:13:11,479 --> 00:13:14,646 You going to cut his hands off because he's working for the priest? 231 00:13:14,646 --> 00:13:16,640 It's just the cables for the Way of Sorrows. 232 00:13:16,979 --> 00:13:17,771 Motivation? 233 00:13:17,771 --> 00:13:20,562 I don't work because Italian law tells me, but because my faith does. 234 00:13:20,562 --> 00:13:22,896 You work for the wine consortium. It's alcohol! 235 00:13:22,896 --> 00:13:25,396 I don't work because Italian law tells me, but because my faith does. 236 00:13:25,396 --> 00:13:26,604 And I take whatever work I can. Motivation! 237 00:13:26,604 --> 00:13:29,687 I also have motivation. Because I work with Don Nicola. 238 00:13:30,062 --> 00:13:33,146 But a line must be drawn! There is only one God. 239 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,140 Yes, but God is love! 240 00:13:35,140 --> 00:13:37,229 We were expecting you an hour ago. 241 00:13:39,229 --> 00:13:39,854 Salam. 242 00:13:41,729 --> 00:13:43,021 Is this with onions? 243 00:13:46,271 --> 00:13:47,396 Ah, onions! 244 00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:01,646 - What's wrong with him? - He's got the method. 245 00:14:03,521 --> 00:14:06,062 Is this the only Jesus Christ they could find round here? 246 00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,104 Good evening. 247 00:14:08,896 --> 00:14:11,771 Hey, don't laugh under the Cross. 248 00:14:12,229 --> 00:14:14,521 - I'm not laughing. - You need to convert. 249 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:15,271 I am converting! 250 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,479 Do you understand? Look at me! 251 00:14:16,479 --> 00:14:17,729 You need to convert now. 252 00:14:17,729 --> 00:14:19,720 Do you understand or not? 253 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:20,854 Will you stop it? 254 00:14:20,937 --> 00:14:22,160 You should be ashamed of yourself. 255 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,187 Don Nicola, this guy needs to convert. Now! 256 00:14:25,187 --> 00:14:27,021 - Go, move along, please. - I'll see you at home! 257 00:14:27,021 --> 00:14:29,312 Jusuf, come. I need your help. 258 00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,604 No! Not the fake blood! 259 00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:34,979 Michele, it's not Halloween! 260 00:14:34,979 --> 00:14:39,646 But I need it, it makes me feel real, like the American actors. 261 00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,604 - Mel Jibson? - No, Mel Gibson. 262 00:14:42,312 --> 00:14:44,104 By the way, I also need colored lenses. 263 00:14:44,104 --> 00:14:47,479 Please, no colored lenses! No, no and again no! 264 00:14:47,479 --> 00:14:48,854 - Why not? - Let's go, Jusuf, please. 265 00:14:49,146 --> 00:14:51,062 - Joseph, come here. - Yes? 266 00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:53,229 I have a favor to ask... 267 00:14:53,312 --> 00:14:54,229 What happened to your hand? 268 00:14:54,687 --> 00:14:56,437 Nothing. It's fake blood. 269 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,854 Listen, you have to get me a microphone. 270 00:14:59,854 --> 00:15:02,146 I need it for the suffering, you know, for the pain. 271 00:15:02,146 --> 00:15:03,354 OK, I will. 272 00:15:03,354 --> 00:15:07,437 Come here. You also need to pull out the thorns. 273 00:15:07,437 --> 00:15:09,146 Otherwise it'll get stuck to the wig. 274 00:15:09,146 --> 00:15:10,021 Alright, don't worry. 275 00:15:10,021 --> 00:15:13,854 Joseph, come here. You're a good man. 276 00:15:13,854 --> 00:15:15,062 - Thank you. - Very good man. 277 00:15:15,354 --> 00:15:16,687 What are you doing? 278 00:15:16,687 --> 00:15:19,271 - You're a gardener too, now? - Can I not be a gardener? 279 00:15:19,271 --> 00:15:21,479 - It's a job like any other. - Jusuf, we have to go. 280 00:15:21,479 --> 00:15:23,040 Rita, you too. 281 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,396 - Don't exaggerate! - I'm not exaggerating. 282 00:15:25,396 --> 00:15:26,680 No, no... 283 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,896 no, no...Father. 284 00:15:30,104 --> 00:15:31,271 Father... 285 00:15:31,854 --> 00:15:32,687 Father! 286 00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:39,812 Pino. 287 00:15:41,396 --> 00:15:43,396 - You know whose fault this is? - Whose? 288 00:15:43,771 --> 00:15:45,021 That excommunicated priest 289 00:15:45,021 --> 00:15:49,437 for hiring incompetent Moroccans who then burn our flag. 290 00:15:49,437 --> 00:15:54,062 Behold your people, Hol... 291 00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:55,604 No. Nothing. 292 00:15:55,604 --> 00:15:59,396 Testing 293 00:15:59,396 --> 00:16:01,390 - It doesn't work. Hey, Giuseppe! - Yes? 294 00:16:01,390 --> 00:16:04,521 - This mic doesn't work. - Hang on. Let's see. 295 00:16:04,646 --> 00:16:05,562 Hold on... 296 00:16:05,771 --> 00:16:06,646 No battery. 297 00:16:06,646 --> 00:16:09,021 You gave me a microphone with no battery? Unbelievable! 298 00:16:09,021 --> 00:16:11,604 Just a moment. Here you go. 299 00:16:12,396 --> 00:16:13,729 Try now. 300 00:16:13,729 --> 00:16:16,979 Hey! Get your hands off me! 301 00:16:16,979 --> 00:16:19,479 Jusuf, there's not a single light bulb that's working. 302 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,729 Please, help me. 303 00:16:22,562 --> 00:16:25,021 Miss Mafalda, this Way of Sorrows is a real disaster. 304 00:16:25,021 --> 00:16:27,020 Totally. 305 00:16:27,771 --> 00:16:28,979 - Shit! - Bloody hell! 306 00:16:30,354 --> 00:16:32,021 Come on, Jusuf, you must be tired. 307 00:16:32,021 --> 00:16:34,020 Go home. We'll fix this tomorrow. 308 00:16:34,812 --> 00:16:36,771 What is it you say? Inshallah. 309 00:16:38,396 --> 00:16:44,896 And filled with joy, today we... 310 00:16:44,896 --> 00:16:46,104 No! Testing 311 00:16:57,479 --> 00:16:58,771 You smell of kebab. 312 00:17:15,771 --> 00:17:17,146 It's late. 313 00:17:29,271 --> 00:17:30,687 It's your turn. 314 00:18:27,104 --> 00:18:28,812 I won't let you go until you've fixed it. 315 00:18:32,354 --> 00:18:35,812 Listen, why do you always say yes to everyone 316 00:18:35,812 --> 00:18:37,810 but you never spend time with me? 317 00:18:38,479 --> 00:18:40,104 It's late. I need to go. 318 00:18:46,021 --> 00:18:49,021 Ah, finally something that works! Well done, Jusuf. 319 00:18:49,021 --> 00:18:51,479 You see? With a little peace everything gets fixed. 320 00:18:51,479 --> 00:18:54,104 Let's take care of the True Cross and we're done. 321 00:18:54,104 --> 00:18:56,812 No, you're not! Don Nicola, with all due respect. 322 00:18:56,812 --> 00:19:00,479 Giuseppe, you burned the flag and now you fix it. 323 00:19:00,479 --> 00:19:04,104 - Pino! We have the Procession now. - What does that mean? 324 00:19:04,104 --> 00:19:06,396 It means that ubi maior minor cessat. 325 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,062 I don't give a crap, Don Nicola, whether it's major or minor. 326 00:19:09,062 --> 00:19:11,937 You burned the flag! And now you have to fix it! 327 00:19:11,937 --> 00:19:13,771 - I'm waiting for you! - Come, Jusuf. 328 00:19:13,771 --> 00:19:17,479 We'll take care of that later. We need to deal with Mel Jibson now! 329 00:19:17,479 --> 00:19:19,470 Let's go! 330 00:19:25,604 --> 00:19:26,896 No, I don't like it. 331 00:19:29,979 --> 00:19:31,396 I'll wear this one instead. 332 00:19:36,771 --> 00:19:38,604 - Don Nicola's pissed off. - Yeah! 333 00:19:39,104 --> 00:19:39,979 Yes... 334 00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:41,396 Yes... 335 00:19:43,062 --> 00:19:43,979 Yes... 336 00:19:46,229 --> 00:19:48,354 Michele, are you ready? 337 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:49,146 Yes. 338 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,437 What are those red marks on your face? 339 00:19:51,437 --> 00:19:54,396 - The legionary's slap. - Don't get carried away. 340 00:19:54,396 --> 00:19:58,146 - It's not a melodrama! - It's the Passion. 341 00:19:58,479 --> 00:20:00,437 - You look great. - Really? 342 00:20:00,437 --> 00:20:04,562 Hurry up. People are waiting. Please! 343 00:20:04,562 --> 00:20:07,646 Uncle Nicola, don't worry. It'll be fine. 344 00:20:19,104 --> 00:20:20,646 Hey, Jusu'. 345 00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:24,979 I asked you to pull out the thorns so the wig won't get stuck 346 00:20:24,979 --> 00:20:26,229 and get pulled off. 347 00:20:26,229 --> 00:20:29,479 Come on. Joseph, come here. 348 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:34,604 - Give me the mic. Put the mic on me. - All right. 349 00:20:34,604 --> 00:20:37,812 I need it for the desperation, the pain, understand? 350 00:20:37,812 --> 00:20:40,646 - What is it? - What are you doing? 351 00:20:40,646 --> 00:20:42,640 - I'm putting on the microphone. - Like that? 352 00:20:43,104 --> 00:20:45,687 Gently. Wait, I'll show you how to put it on. 353 00:20:53,812 --> 00:20:58,354 Merciful Lord, my Master. 354 00:20:58,354 --> 00:21:02,021 I want to imitate you ever more perfectly in my life. 355 00:21:05,687 --> 00:21:08,562 By the way, you're not whipping Jesus anymore. 356 00:21:08,562 --> 00:21:11,146 - Why not? - Last time you hurt him! Badly! 357 00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:13,104 Me? What are you talking about? 358 00:21:13,479 --> 00:21:15,271 What's that beer doing in the sacristy? 359 00:21:15,271 --> 00:21:20,062 Come on, the Procession has begun. Go, legionaries! 360 00:21:20,896 --> 00:21:22,604 Why is the True Cross still here? 361 00:21:22,604 --> 00:21:25,812 You should know better, you've been doing this for the past 20 years! 362 00:21:25,812 --> 00:21:27,646 Let's go! 363 00:21:27,646 --> 00:21:30,437 Come on, help out. Hurry! 364 00:21:30,437 --> 00:21:32,937 You're driving me crazy today! 365 00:21:33,729 --> 00:21:38,979 Because with your Holy Cross you have redeemed the world... 366 00:21:38,979 --> 00:21:42,354 What's going on? Why are they running? 367 00:21:43,854 --> 00:21:48,687 And so, Merciful Lord... Holy Virgin Mary! 368 00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:53,812 What...? 369 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,312 I can't see anymore! 370 00:21:56,312 --> 00:21:59,562 - What's wrong, Michele? - I can't see! 371 00:21:59,562 --> 00:22:00,979 Have you gone crazy? 372 00:22:00,979 --> 00:22:02,979 Michele, you've turned into a madman! 373 00:22:02,979 --> 00:22:04,187 I can't see anymore! 374 00:22:09,062 --> 00:22:12,187 Damn Judas! 375 00:22:14,229 --> 00:22:15,271 Michele! 376 00:22:16,812 --> 00:22:18,062 Michele! 377 00:22:23,271 --> 00:22:28,687 It’s your fault, you wretch! Murderer! I told you to to pull out the thorns. 378 00:22:29,937 --> 00:22:33,146 It's his fault! Murderer! 379 00:22:33,146 --> 00:22:35,687 Call the paramedics, Jusuf. 380 00:22:36,312 --> 00:22:38,146 Calm down. 381 00:22:38,146 --> 00:22:39,896 - Are you drunk? - Everything's under control. 382 00:22:39,896 --> 00:22:40,562 What happened? 383 00:22:40,562 --> 00:22:41,896 Come on, you can see what happened. 384 00:22:41,896 --> 00:22:43,104 One, two, three, pull! 385 00:22:46,646 --> 00:22:47,521 You see? 386 00:22:47,521 --> 00:22:49,520 Michele can't play Jesus anymore! 387 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:55,437 ..In Gethsemane to pray, when he was betrayed by Judas... 388 00:22:55,437 --> 00:22:56,646 - Maria... - Tell me, Michele. 389 00:22:56,646 --> 00:22:59,146 - Don't say anything to anyone this time. - Me? 390 00:22:59,146 --> 00:23:02,354 Say that I broke a leg or that I had a heart attack. 391 00:23:02,354 --> 00:23:03,646 Fine, don't worry. 392 00:23:03,979 --> 00:23:05,729 Easy, Michele, take it easy. 393 00:23:05,729 --> 00:23:07,562 Don Nicola, what happened? 394 00:23:08,437 --> 00:23:12,562 Officer, nobody must know, but I want to report a crime. 395 00:23:12,562 --> 00:23:14,104 By whom? 396 00:23:14,104 --> 00:23:16,100 That guy! 397 00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:17,396 No, we can't. 398 00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:20,187 Uncle, he's the only one. He knows all the Stations. 399 00:23:20,187 --> 00:23:22,562 - He's Muslim. - So what? 400 00:23:24,021 --> 00:23:25,521 Is everything under control? 401 00:23:26,062 --> 00:23:27,354 Poor guy... 402 00:23:28,021 --> 00:23:29,350 Excuse me, Jusuf. 403 00:23:34,021 --> 00:23:38,146 Jusuf, only you can help me. I need this one favor. 404 00:23:38,146 --> 00:23:40,140 He says yes to everybody. 405 00:23:40,479 --> 00:23:41,729 I should know. 406 00:23:41,729 --> 00:23:43,720 He's my husband. 407 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:47,396 He will play Jesus. And you are his wife. 408 00:23:47,812 --> 00:23:49,562 Why, did Jesus have a wife? 409 00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:52,646 Holy Father, forgive these non-believers 410 00:23:52,646 --> 00:23:54,640 for they know not what they do to me. 411 00:23:56,062 --> 00:23:57,729 I am Jesus! 412 00:23:57,729 --> 00:24:01,604 I have the method of the American actors! 413 00:24:01,604 --> 00:24:04,812 Yes, but turn around, because you also have thorns in your ass. 414 00:24:07,396 --> 00:24:08,354 Hurry! 415 00:24:08,354 --> 00:24:10,350 What are you doing? Turn the True Cross around. 416 00:24:10,350 --> 00:24:12,350 Everything's all right. 417 00:24:12,350 --> 00:24:14,350 Come on, let's go, let's go. 418 00:24:14,350 --> 00:24:16,350 Everything is fine! 419 00:25:00,937 --> 00:25:02,312 But he's a Muslim! 420 00:25:04,354 --> 00:25:05,646 It's the end of the world! 421 00:25:47,062 --> 00:25:47,896 Hey! 422 00:25:49,437 --> 00:25:50,937 Don't run away! 423 00:25:51,729 --> 00:25:54,521 We still have to crucify you! 424 00:25:59,896 --> 00:26:01,021 Hey, Tonino! 425 00:26:01,396 --> 00:26:03,521 It was shitty this year too, eh? 426 00:26:04,021 --> 00:26:06,104 No, actually it was quite touching. 427 00:26:06,854 --> 00:26:07,771 Really? 428 00:26:07,771 --> 00:26:10,937 Since when does Michele the hairdresser make people cry? 429 00:26:12,771 --> 00:26:14,604 It wasn't Michele. 430 00:26:16,271 --> 00:26:17,521 - No? - No. 431 00:26:20,646 --> 00:26:23,437 So who took his place? 432 00:26:25,646 --> 00:26:26,937 Come with me. 433 00:26:30,187 --> 00:26:32,146 I thought it was a matter of open-mindedness. 434 00:26:32,146 --> 00:26:35,187 Your mind is so open that your brain fell out. 435 00:26:35,562 --> 00:26:37,979 Mezzasoma, you're worth nothing! 436 00:26:37,979 --> 00:26:39,970 But if you want the vote of the legionaries, 437 00:26:39,970 --> 00:26:41,970 ..you gotta kick those people out! - Right! 438 00:26:43,562 --> 00:26:44,729 Come with me! 439 00:26:47,812 --> 00:26:49,562 Don't worry about it, Jusuf. What's done is done. 440 00:26:49,562 --> 00:26:51,729 - Ameluk! - Here comes Nero. 441 00:26:51,729 --> 00:26:52,729 Hey, Muslim! 442 00:26:52,729 --> 00:26:55,104 Mario, if you have to blame someone, blame me. 443 00:26:55,104 --> 00:26:57,437 This isn't the time for your racist rants. 444 00:26:57,437 --> 00:26:58,146 Oh, yeah? 445 00:26:58,146 --> 00:27:01,562 Well, then, fuck you, fuck Ameluk, the kebabs, the Africans, 446 00:27:01,562 --> 00:27:04,271 the Romanians, the Albanians, the Chinese, the gypsies, 447 00:27:04,271 --> 00:27:06,270 and the homos! 448 00:27:09,771 --> 00:27:11,187 Well done! 449 00:27:18,021 --> 00:27:20,062 Fuck the communists too! 450 00:27:25,354 --> 00:27:28,729 Professor, you wanted to know my program? 451 00:27:29,104 --> 00:27:30,720 Fuck everybody! 452 00:27:33,646 --> 00:27:35,521 No, no, no! 453 00:27:35,729 --> 00:27:39,146 Calm down, brother! After all, for you Muslims, 454 00:27:39,146 --> 00:27:42,812 Jesus didn't die on the cross, but ascended alive into Heaven. 455 00:27:42,812 --> 00:27:45,229 - Christian, cut it out! - Salam to all. 456 00:27:45,229 --> 00:27:50,354 Oh, finally a Messiah who's an Arab and not a blond Swede! 457 00:27:51,729 --> 00:27:53,104 I brought Paolino today. 458 00:27:53,104 --> 00:27:55,562 It's not going to fix things. 459 00:27:55,562 --> 00:27:57,560 I just did a favor to a friend. 460 00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,560 To a priest! 461 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,560 I get it. We'd better leave. 462 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,560 Before the pain in the ass shows up! 463 00:28:05,521 --> 00:28:07,896 An Arab who sold out to the Christians. 464 00:28:07,896 --> 00:28:09,890 Without motivation! 465 00:28:09,890 --> 00:28:11,890 I only played a part. 466 00:28:11,890 --> 00:28:13,479 You could have played Pilate. 467 00:28:13,479 --> 00:28:15,470 You're good at washing your hands. 468 00:28:17,104 --> 00:28:18,604 Why is this madman laughing? 469 00:28:19,062 --> 00:28:22,646 I didn't understand shit, but I agree with you. 470 00:28:23,104 --> 00:28:26,521 Come on, guys, so much fuss for a couple of nails! 471 00:28:26,979 --> 00:28:30,604 I worked hard for this place, and I don't want to close it down. 472 00:28:30,604 --> 00:28:32,600 They already give us evil looks! 473 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,521 Great, we welcome the fight. We have rights we're entitled to. 474 00:28:35,521 --> 00:28:36,521 We want space! 475 00:28:36,937 --> 00:28:44,312 Places where we can pray, not like this hole. 476 00:28:44,312 --> 00:28:45,021 Hole? 477 00:28:45,021 --> 00:28:46,896 What the hell are you saying? 478 00:28:46,896 --> 00:28:51,062 What hole? I even have tables and umbrellas outside! 479 00:28:51,062 --> 00:28:53,060 What am I supposed to do? 480 00:28:53,060 --> 00:28:54,812 What? Eh? 481 00:28:54,812 --> 00:28:56,979 You carried the cross. 482 00:28:56,979 --> 00:29:01,937 Ask your new God. 483 00:29:01,937 --> 00:29:03,146 Let's go, Paolino. 484 00:29:03,146 --> 00:29:05,687 I hope you'll have him circumcised. 485 00:29:06,521 --> 00:29:07,229 Salam. 486 00:29:08,271 --> 00:29:09,896 Let's hope it ends here. 487 00:29:10,687 --> 00:29:11,854 Inshallah. 488 00:29:11,854 --> 00:29:16,687 Anyway, the perfect ingredient for a kebab is the Acquaviva onion. 489 00:29:16,687 --> 00:29:17,937 That's it! 490 00:29:24,479 --> 00:29:26,812 IMMIGRANTS STEAL OUR CROSS AS WELL 491 00:29:26,937 --> 00:29:29,229 THE ALBANIAN LANDINGS IN '91 492 00:29:30,062 --> 00:29:32,896 What do the Albanian landings in '91 have to do with this? 493 00:29:34,021 --> 00:29:38,521 Some images have always an effect on the ignorant. 494 00:29:38,521 --> 00:29:40,520 Like you. 495 00:29:43,396 --> 00:29:44,646 Move. 496 00:29:47,896 --> 00:29:52,854 If things go the way I hope, I'll take over the local newspapers 497 00:29:52,854 --> 00:29:57,229 Da Bitonto, La Puglia and Gazzetta del Mezzogiorno. 498 00:29:57,229 --> 00:29:59,220 I'll climb to the top! 499 00:30:00,937 --> 00:30:04,021 - I said, I'll climb to the top! - Right, to the top. 500 00:30:04,021 --> 00:30:05,562 Never mind. Get out of here. 501 00:30:08,604 --> 00:30:11,312 Professor, yours is free. 502 00:30:11,312 --> 00:30:17,521 All others have to pay me 1.50. The situation is serious. 503 00:30:17,521 --> 00:30:21,021 We've been invaded so we need money. 504 00:30:21,021 --> 00:30:25,312 They want to steal our jobs and they also want to steal our women. 505 00:30:25,312 --> 00:30:28,771 Like Maria... whom you always liked but that... 506 00:30:28,771 --> 00:30:30,770 Hey! 507 00:30:31,479 --> 00:30:33,312 I've always respected her from a distance. 508 00:30:33,312 --> 00:30:37,062 And now these people are stealing Jesus Christ from us as well! 509 00:30:37,062 --> 00:30:40,479 Ameluk. What are you going to give your son for Christmas? 510 00:30:40,479 --> 00:30:44,562 An AK-57, combat fatigues and a headband? 511 00:30:45,271 --> 00:30:49,646 Stupid questions don't deserve an answer. 512 00:30:49,646 --> 00:30:52,687 Professor, this isn't the time for your humor. 513 00:30:53,771 --> 00:30:54,680 Hey! 514 00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:57,354 Sorry, sorry. 515 00:30:57,354 --> 00:30:59,350 I have to say though, I never touched your family. 516 00:30:59,350 --> 00:31:00,062 - Really? - No. 517 00:31:00,062 --> 00:31:04,146 But you're touching the Italian flag. Get your hands off the flag! 518 00:31:06,104 --> 00:31:07,729 Couldn't you have called Arcangelo, 519 00:31:07,729 --> 00:31:09,720 who's a good electrician, and from Mariotto? 520 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,720 Mario, these people are cheaper. 521 00:31:12,854 --> 00:31:14,854 You cheapskate! You really are cheap! 522 00:31:14,854 --> 00:31:17,646 I mean, you're the leader of the "Friends of the Calzone" movement, 523 00:31:17,646 --> 00:31:21,437 but you keep behaving like a Jew. My apologies, Professor. 524 00:31:21,437 --> 00:31:25,187 I was only joking. I meant to say loan shark. 525 00:31:31,354 --> 00:31:32,854 Apology not accepted. 526 00:31:32,854 --> 00:31:35,146 Besides knowing nothing about verb conjugations, 527 00:31:35,437 --> 00:31:37,604 you are clueless about synonyms. 528 00:31:38,729 --> 00:31:42,521 These colors you defend so much, what do they symbolize to you? 529 00:31:43,771 --> 00:31:45,687 How about we ask your friends, 530 00:31:45,687 --> 00:31:49,229 these temporary guests who are demanding rights? 531 00:31:49,229 --> 00:31:50,937 Demanding rights! 532 00:31:50,937 --> 00:31:54,187 The flag's working. No charge. It's my contribution to the homeland. 533 00:31:54,604 --> 00:31:56,312 - Salam. - Salam. 534 00:31:57,854 --> 00:32:00,812 Professor, I'll tell you what those colors symbolize. 535 00:32:00,812 --> 00:32:05,104 I ought to know. Tomato, spaghetti and basil. 536 00:32:07,062 --> 00:32:09,687 Which come from America, China and India. 537 00:32:09,687 --> 00:32:12,646 Oh, yeah? Then let's add a kebab, too! 538 00:32:12,646 --> 00:32:13,979 Troglodytes! 539 00:32:13,979 --> 00:32:15,437 Basil...from India? 540 00:32:15,437 --> 00:32:17,430 Professor... 541 00:32:22,604 --> 00:32:27,604 Well, Tonino, did you read my article? 542 00:32:27,896 --> 00:32:29,979 A few verbs in the wrong tense... 543 00:32:30,729 --> 00:32:34,104 Actually, a Muslim Christ is quite a piece of news. 544 00:32:34,104 --> 00:32:36,100 Also at an international level. 545 00:32:38,562 --> 00:32:39,896 Genius! 546 00:32:39,896 --> 00:32:43,479 It's a great piece of news: "Muslim Interprets Role of Christ"! 547 00:32:43,479 --> 00:32:45,312 I'll give the news to the Gazzetta, 548 00:32:45,312 --> 00:32:48,229 they'll pass it to the agencies who will spread it around the world. 549 00:32:48,229 --> 00:32:53,187 And I will split the world in two, like a clam! 550 00:32:53,187 --> 00:32:55,180 What a brilliant idea I've had! 551 00:32:57,146 --> 00:32:58,771 Officer... 552 00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:02,771 Pino, another scratchie. 553 00:33:05,979 --> 00:33:08,021 Good morning, madam, nice day. 554 00:33:08,021 --> 00:33:10,020 Shut up, Moroccan whore. 555 00:33:16,729 --> 00:33:19,104 You're coming home right now! 556 00:33:19,104 --> 00:33:21,104 I'll bring him home, as usual. 557 00:33:21,104 --> 00:33:23,896 I get you! Undue influence on the "uncircumcised"! 558 00:33:23,896 --> 00:33:25,890 Get lost, Ameluk! 559 00:33:25,890 --> 00:33:27,890 No, please, no! 560 00:33:29,062 --> 00:33:30,896 What the hell are you laughing about? 561 00:33:30,896 --> 00:33:32,890 You're no longer Giselle. 562 00:33:32,890 --> 00:33:36,229 You're Ameluk. A-me-luk! 563 00:33:36,521 --> 00:33:38,771 The new Messiah who is coming! 564 00:33:39,104 --> 00:33:41,229 You've driven the xenophobes into the open. 565 00:33:41,229 --> 00:33:43,604 You are the living example of globalism, 566 00:33:43,604 --> 00:33:46,062 married to an Italian Catholic... 567 00:33:46,062 --> 00:33:50,937 who wants to be a model but is clueless about what's going on... 568 00:33:50,937 --> 00:33:54,271 - Arafat, leave my wife alone. - Well said! 569 00:33:54,271 --> 00:33:58,646 Now is the time for us to strike. Come with me to the community center. 570 00:33:58,646 --> 00:34:00,604 - Us who? - Us. Us! 571 00:34:00,604 --> 00:34:02,600 - Give me a break. - Hey! Ameluk! 572 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,600 Ameluk! 573 00:34:12,396 --> 00:34:13,271 He's here. 574 00:34:13,478 --> 00:34:14,978 What happened? The baby! 575 00:34:14,978 --> 00:34:19,728 They called me "Moroccan whore!"... Me! 576 00:34:19,728 --> 00:34:22,187 You shouldn't have married one of those people! 577 00:34:22,187 --> 00:34:25,271 - What do you mean "those people"? - What did you do? 578 00:34:25,271 --> 00:34:26,437 Damn you! 579 00:34:26,437 --> 00:34:27,978 The wedding vase! 580 00:34:30,103 --> 00:34:32,228 I thought you were happy to be Jesus' wife! 581 00:34:32,228 --> 00:34:33,021 Sit down! 582 00:34:33,021 --> 00:34:36,187 Jesus never got married. 583 00:34:36,187 --> 00:34:38,853 For them, Jesus ran away! 584 00:34:38,853 --> 00:34:40,850 My God, what are you saying! 585 00:34:40,850 --> 00:34:43,103 And to think I always sacrificed myself for you, 586 00:34:43,103 --> 00:34:45,100 eating your damn sausages! 587 00:34:45,100 --> 00:34:48,103 Now, I'm really fucking confused! 588 00:34:48,103 --> 00:34:52,771 Is this nulatic...lunatic here Christian or not? 589 00:34:52,771 --> 00:34:54,770 No! 590 00:34:54,770 --> 00:34:56,770 Then he's a Mormon! 591 00:34:56,770 --> 00:34:58,770 - Dad, Dad! - Grandpa! 592 00:35:00,021 --> 00:35:00,979 Grandpa! 593 00:35:02,271 --> 00:35:03,812 You killed him! 594 00:35:04,687 --> 00:35:07,146 Get out! 595 00:35:14,562 --> 00:35:15,854 This is grappa! 596 00:35:19,937 --> 00:35:21,396 Grappa? 597 00:35:23,354 --> 00:35:25,646 It's a miracle! 598 00:35:29,062 --> 00:35:31,562 Hey! Go play somewhere else. 599 00:35:31,562 --> 00:35:32,979 Ameluk! 600 00:35:41,187 --> 00:35:42,729 Can you give me a ride to work? 601 00:35:55,646 --> 00:35:58,229 It's the hand of Fatima. It's a lucky charm. 602 00:35:58,229 --> 00:36:00,104 It's supposed to bring me good luck. 603 00:36:00,104 --> 00:36:02,100 See? We've got one thing in common. 604 00:36:06,146 --> 00:36:09,187 Come on, don't take it so hard. It's only a small-town drama. 605 00:36:09,187 --> 00:36:12,604 - Only? I've become the devil! - They're good people, 606 00:36:12,604 --> 00:36:14,312 but they take a while to understand. 607 00:36:14,312 --> 00:36:17,229 What matters is that you are loved by those around you. 608 00:36:17,229 --> 00:36:20,854 - Your friends, family, your wife... - My wife? 609 00:36:21,354 --> 00:36:22,229 Never mind. 610 00:36:22,229 --> 00:36:24,896 - Yeah, I suppose, Maria... - What have you got against Maria? 611 00:36:24,896 --> 00:36:26,687 Nothing...nothing. 612 00:36:26,729 --> 00:36:28,937 In any case, Maria has nothing to do with this. 613 00:36:28,937 --> 00:36:31,271 I'm in this mess because of you and Don Nicola. 614 00:36:31,271 --> 00:36:34,396 You could have refused to play Jesus, instead of saying yes all the time. 615 00:36:34,396 --> 00:36:37,479 Right. But you all get something out of it when I say yes. 616 00:36:37,479 --> 00:36:39,470 Like you, now. You're getting a ride to work. 617 00:36:39,470 --> 00:36:41,470 All I want to do is help you! 618 00:36:41,470 --> 00:36:43,771 And you're so afraid of saying no 619 00:36:44,812 --> 00:36:47,312 that you don't see when somebody really wants to help you. 620 00:36:50,687 --> 00:36:51,937 Bring her some flowers. 621 00:36:52,896 --> 00:36:55,437 There are some beautiful ones this time of year. 622 00:37:14,479 --> 00:37:15,812 I shouldn't have come. 623 00:37:16,437 --> 00:37:17,604 Don't think about it. 624 00:37:18,646 --> 00:37:20,146 Why don't you come with me? 625 00:37:20,771 --> 00:37:22,562 To continue my Way of Sorrows? 626 00:37:22,562 --> 00:37:25,562 Relax. Look at me. 627 00:37:25,562 --> 00:37:27,560 These things pass. 628 00:37:28,896 --> 00:37:30,937 These things can also last centuries. 629 00:37:47,021 --> 00:37:48,271 Excuse me. 630 00:37:57,187 --> 00:37:58,312 Where have you been? 631 00:37:58,687 --> 00:37:59,729 And who with? 632 00:37:59,729 --> 00:38:01,720 These are for you. 633 00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:03,720 I got them for you. 634 00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:05,720 Come on. 635 00:38:06,354 --> 00:38:08,146 Did you steal them at the cemetery? 636 00:38:08,604 --> 00:38:11,187 Do you know that everyone calls you "Ameluk" now? 637 00:38:11,187 --> 00:38:15,312 And that I've become the wife of a lunatic? 638 00:38:16,271 --> 00:38:18,687 Since you're still a Muslim, defend your wife! 639 00:38:18,687 --> 00:38:20,680 - So what if I'm a Muslim? - Are you a man? 640 00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,021 I'm me. It's just a small-town drama. 641 00:38:23,021 --> 00:38:25,896 Oh, yeah? And I'm Madame Butterfly. You must avenge me! 642 00:38:25,896 --> 00:38:28,146 Vengeance? I'm not a violent person! 643 00:38:28,146 --> 00:38:32,562 There, typical Muslim man. Do you want to beat me up? 644 00:38:32,562 --> 00:38:34,271 No, no. 645 00:38:34,271 --> 00:38:35,729 Because you've got no balls! 646 00:38:35,729 --> 00:38:38,479 Get out! Out of my house! 647 00:38:38,479 --> 00:38:40,470 Get out or I'll call the police. 648 00:38:40,470 --> 00:38:42,470 Out! 649 00:38:44,729 --> 00:38:46,812 Get out of my sight, Ameluk! 650 00:38:51,896 --> 00:38:53,979 My wife kicked me out. 651 00:38:53,979 --> 00:38:55,970 I don't know where to sleep tonight. 652 00:38:56,521 --> 00:38:58,021 Uncle Ameluk! 653 00:38:58,687 --> 00:39:00,437 They heard it at school. 654 00:39:01,604 --> 00:39:07,062 Did your sister tell you we didn't have a single Italian client today? 655 00:39:07,687 --> 00:39:12,354 Except the idiot they call Arafat. 656 00:39:13,771 --> 00:39:15,729 How am I going to feed my children? 657 00:39:16,271 --> 00:39:17,271 How? 658 00:39:17,271 --> 00:39:23,437 Didn't I tell you not to marry a Catholic? 659 00:39:23,437 --> 00:39:25,604 Don't tell me she kicked you out and you're moving in, 660 00:39:25,604 --> 00:39:27,979 taking advantage of your sister's kindness! 661 00:39:27,979 --> 00:39:29,970 We'll put him up just for tonight. 662 00:39:29,970 --> 00:39:32,354 No way. No, no. No! 663 00:39:33,146 --> 00:39:34,350 He's not sleeping here. 664 00:39:35,396 --> 00:39:37,312 You're not a man! 665 00:39:37,312 --> 00:39:39,646 Don't talk to my brother like that. 666 00:39:39,646 --> 00:39:44,854 If he wants to stay, I will help him. 667 00:39:44,854 --> 00:39:46,729 Amira, I don't want him here. 668 00:39:54,604 --> 00:39:56,812 I don't want him here. That's final! 669 00:40:45,229 --> 00:40:46,479 Is there anybody there? 670 00:40:46,479 --> 00:40:48,229 - Is here? - Is there anybody there? 671 00:40:48,229 --> 00:40:50,021 Check out his home address. 672 00:40:50,021 --> 00:40:52,646 If we don't find him, we can't do the piece for the evening news. 673 00:40:52,646 --> 00:40:55,104 Yeah, great. What do we do now? 674 00:40:55,104 --> 00:40:57,312 There's a kebab shop over there. Let's go ask. 675 00:40:57,312 --> 00:41:00,604 Did they really have to give us the piece on this Bedouin? 676 00:41:00,604 --> 00:41:01,937 Come on, let's interview some passersby. 677 00:41:01,937 --> 00:41:04,187 - Let's go to the kebab place. - I'm staying here. 678 00:41:04,729 --> 00:41:05,771 Hello? 679 00:41:07,021 --> 00:41:08,271 There's nobody here. 680 00:41:08,729 --> 00:41:10,646 What? You want me to go? 681 00:41:11,354 --> 00:41:12,312 OK. 682 00:41:21,396 --> 00:41:26,146 He told me he comes from the land where Jesus was baptized. 683 00:41:26,646 --> 00:41:29,646 And let's not forget that Jesus was a Jew. 684 00:41:29,646 --> 00:41:33,396 What? Jesus was a Jew? Are you people crazy? 685 00:41:33,396 --> 00:41:36,229 Get out of here! 686 00:41:36,229 --> 00:41:38,220 He would say yes to everybody. 687 00:41:38,729 --> 00:41:41,979 It was a tactic to attract his victims. 688 00:41:41,979 --> 00:41:43,312 "THE WISE KEEP SILENT. THE PHONIES TALK" 689 00:41:43,479 --> 00:41:45,021 He even tried with me. 690 00:41:45,521 --> 00:41:48,604 You're making much ado about nothing. 691 00:41:49,396 --> 00:41:51,229 Easter will come anyway. 692 00:41:51,229 --> 00:41:53,220 What can I say? 693 00:41:53,896 --> 00:41:57,271 A Mormon in my house! 694 00:41:57,271 --> 00:42:02,646 The curse is so strong that I'm still purifying myself. 695 00:42:07,354 --> 00:42:11,521 He blew up the Italian flag with a homemade bomb. 696 00:42:12,687 --> 00:42:17,396 He tried to kill Mr. Mezzasoma with a hammer. 697 00:42:19,646 --> 00:42:22,646 And he's screwing the woman Mezzasoma loves. 698 00:42:23,312 --> 00:42:24,687 Come on, play a card. 699 00:42:25,604 --> 00:42:28,896 I mean, it got really ugly, a rock this big, against the wall. 700 00:42:28,896 --> 00:42:30,604 Look at what that criminal did. 701 00:42:30,604 --> 00:42:35,396 Maybe it's normal in their culture. He was about to kill us all. 702 00:42:36,021 --> 00:42:38,604 He put on clothes that didn't belong to him. 703 00:42:39,687 --> 00:42:45,354 It's this lie that hurt me the most. 704 00:42:46,396 --> 00:42:50,062 In any case, my Jesus would have been more soulful. 705 00:42:50,062 --> 00:42:52,562 - Michele! Hurry up. - Yes, yes. 706 00:42:52,896 --> 00:42:54,771 - I've got stuff to do. - How do you want your hair? 707 00:42:54,771 --> 00:42:56,271 - You decide. - Like last time? 708 00:42:56,271 --> 00:42:57,979 Actually, this event 709 00:42:57,979 --> 00:43:01,021 gives us a chance to rediscover a sense of community. 710 00:43:01,729 --> 00:43:04,812 Puglia has always been a multicultural land. 711 00:43:04,812 --> 00:43:06,187 Yes, but this stuff is boring. 712 00:43:06,187 --> 00:43:09,354 Instead, we've been told you have a little thing for Ameluk. 713 00:43:09,354 --> 00:43:11,350 Tell us, how is he in bed? 714 00:43:12,562 --> 00:43:13,771 You idiot! 715 00:43:19,062 --> 00:43:23,521 "GOD IS DEAD, BUT MARX AND I ARE FEELING GREAT" 716 00:43:23,521 --> 00:43:25,520 In any case, the doors of this church are open to all, 717 00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:28,187 especially the less fortunate. Is that clear? 718 00:43:28,979 --> 00:43:30,854 We reenact the Way of Sorrows 719 00:43:31,646 --> 00:43:37,312 to remember the senseless violence done against our Savior, 720 00:43:37,312 --> 00:43:39,310 so as not to do it again. 721 00:43:40,021 --> 00:43:43,146 Instead, we repeat it all the time. 722 00:43:43,854 --> 00:43:45,187 Look at yourselves, 723 00:43:46,104 --> 00:43:50,312 with your elegant Easter clothes and bloodshot eyes. 724 00:43:50,312 --> 00:43:54,062 And we're showing this to the entire country. 725 00:43:55,312 --> 00:43:59,729 I want to remind you of something Father Tonino Bello said, 726 00:44:00,396 --> 00:44:06,354 "Let's practice the conviviality of differences." Do you understand? 727 00:44:06,979 --> 00:44:10,479 The conviviality of differences. 728 00:44:11,729 --> 00:44:13,604 I've had enough of this sermon! 729 00:44:13,604 --> 00:44:16,896 To you journalists I say, 730 00:44:17,687 --> 00:44:20,104 can you please turn your cameras off? 731 00:44:20,104 --> 00:44:24,104 Come on, let's respect this place at least. 732 00:44:25,896 --> 00:44:27,062 You can't come in here. 733 00:44:27,062 --> 00:44:30,854 Get lost! Go away! 734 00:44:30,854 --> 00:44:32,850 Why? What are you hiding from us? 735 00:44:32,850 --> 00:44:36,021 Film me. I'm not afraid. 736 00:44:36,479 --> 00:44:38,354 Because I have motivation. 737 00:44:39,104 --> 00:44:41,354 We work for your pensions. 738 00:44:41,771 --> 00:44:45,771 Why don't we have citizenship, for us and our children who were born here? 739 00:44:46,687 --> 00:44:48,562 And we also want to vote for the mayor! 740 00:44:49,604 --> 00:44:51,521 A Muslim can't play Christ on the Cross? 741 00:44:51,521 --> 00:44:55,437 Then, remove all crosses from public places where Muslims go, alright? 742 00:45:15,812 --> 00:45:17,104 Film us properly, please, 743 00:45:17,104 --> 00:45:20,062 because I don't want anybody to say that we are racists. 744 00:45:20,062 --> 00:45:21,937 We love diversity. 745 00:45:22,771 --> 00:45:24,562 That's right. We love diversity. 746 00:45:24,562 --> 00:45:26,229 The diversity of this land, 747 00:45:26,229 --> 00:45:28,220 made of stones, olive trees, almond trees... 748 00:45:28,220 --> 00:45:30,220 And calzone. 749 00:45:30,220 --> 00:45:33,062 And calzone, too. What have we become? 750 00:45:33,062 --> 00:45:36,312 The entrance for this horde of immigrants... 751 00:45:36,312 --> 00:45:38,310 Who screw the woman you love. 752 00:45:39,437 --> 00:45:41,646 Alright, I'm fine. 753 00:45:41,646 --> 00:45:44,354 Don't worry. 754 00:45:45,104 --> 00:45:49,729 This horde of immigrants crossed the threshold of our church 755 00:45:49,729 --> 00:45:52,979 because of a fake shepherd. 756 00:45:52,979 --> 00:45:57,021 What the fuck is wrong with you? I've been a shepherd for 40 years. 757 00:45:57,771 --> 00:46:00,729 Pasquale! A shepherd of souls, not sheep. 758 00:46:00,729 --> 00:46:03,729 Souls! The next one who interrupts is dead, OK? 759 00:46:03,729 --> 00:46:07,896 I've always kept the doors of my church open to everybody. 760 00:46:07,896 --> 00:46:09,229 And now we'll close them. 761 00:46:09,229 --> 00:46:11,812 It's unheard of that a priest should help the infidels. 762 00:46:11,812 --> 00:46:17,896 I don't help others because they're Catholics, but because I am Catholic. 763 00:46:17,896 --> 00:46:21,479 Big words! But in the meantime, a Muslim pretends to be Jesus Christ. 764 00:46:21,479 --> 00:46:23,470 - Praised be His name! - Good man, good. 765 00:46:23,470 --> 00:46:27,354 Today you talk of religion, but yesterday you wanted a secular state. 766 00:46:27,354 --> 00:46:30,771 Secular, yes, but keep your hands off our Cross! 767 00:46:30,771 --> 00:46:35,021 A line must be drawn. God is only one! 768 00:46:35,021 --> 00:46:36,521 Yes, he's one. 769 00:46:36,521 --> 00:46:39,104 But he's ours! 770 00:46:39,354 --> 00:46:40,521 But our God is "the one!" 771 00:46:48,896 --> 00:46:50,229 Hey! 772 00:46:51,021 --> 00:46:56,479 If you kick them out, who will pick the almonds and the olives? 773 00:46:56,479 --> 00:47:01,271 Who will plow the land that you polluted with toxic waste? 774 00:47:01,271 --> 00:47:06,896 By the way, I have breaking news for all of you... 775 00:47:08,271 --> 00:47:11,437 ..God is dead! 776 00:47:15,854 --> 00:47:19,896 Actually, it was us who invented "the one" God. 777 00:47:19,896 --> 00:47:24,062 No, dear brother-in-law, it was God who invented us. 778 00:47:25,312 --> 00:47:27,146 And look what He's done. 779 00:47:27,562 --> 00:47:30,354 God is dead! 780 00:47:30,354 --> 00:47:32,350 He's dead! 781 00:47:40,479 --> 00:47:44,396 Ma'am, tell us about your tragedy. People want to know the truth. 782 00:47:44,396 --> 00:47:46,390 He stole her smile. 783 00:47:46,979 --> 00:47:48,521 He stole her youth. 784 00:47:49,396 --> 00:47:53,562 But he will never, never steal my grandchild! Never! 785 00:47:53,562 --> 00:47:56,354 - Lord have mercy. - Lord have mercy. 786 00:47:56,354 --> 00:47:58,771 - Christ have mercy. - Christ have mercy. 787 00:47:58,771 --> 00:48:01,646 - Lord, hear us. - Lord, hear us. 788 00:48:01,646 --> 00:48:02,646 Lord... 789 00:48:17,479 --> 00:48:18,396 Jusuf? 790 00:48:19,687 --> 00:48:21,104 Jusuf, answer me. 791 00:48:24,187 --> 00:48:25,896 Jusuf, answer... 792 00:48:25,896 --> 00:48:27,890 Jusuf... 793 00:48:36,937 --> 00:48:38,521 I'm letting you in through the back door. 794 00:48:38,521 --> 00:48:40,104 I don't think anybody saw us. 795 00:48:40,104 --> 00:48:43,312 Tomorrow morning, you have to leave before 7, when Abdul opens. 796 00:48:43,312 --> 00:48:45,312 If he finds out I helped you, he'll kill me. 797 00:48:52,437 --> 00:48:54,604 I've ended up living like an illegal. 798 00:49:00,146 --> 00:49:03,021 Jusuf, be a man! 799 00:49:22,771 --> 00:49:28,312 Comrades. Come on... Jimmy, please! My head! 800 00:49:28,687 --> 00:49:29,729 Comrades. 801 00:49:31,104 --> 00:49:33,187 The time is ripe. 802 00:49:33,854 --> 00:49:34,937 Is everybody here? 803 00:49:34,937 --> 00:49:36,562 Yes, don't worry. 804 00:49:36,562 --> 00:49:39,437 We locked out the mayor and his people. 805 00:49:39,437 --> 00:49:40,479 Great! 806 00:49:40,479 --> 00:49:42,604 Then, we can start. 807 00:49:44,396 --> 00:49:46,604 You forgot the secret passage in the back. 808 00:49:46,604 --> 00:49:48,600 That's why you always get it up the a... 809 00:49:52,521 --> 00:49:53,687 Go on, let our people in. 810 00:49:53,687 --> 00:49:56,937 Comrades, let's show how democratic we are. 811 00:49:56,937 --> 00:50:00,104 Don't they also have the right of expression? 812 00:50:00,104 --> 00:50:01,937 No! 813 00:50:02,437 --> 00:50:05,187 OK, maybe at the end. 814 00:50:05,187 --> 00:50:07,937 But this time no broken bones. 815 00:50:09,979 --> 00:50:16,604 Comrades, the greats, the extraterrestrials are watching us. 816 00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:26,021 Gaetano, did you close all the doors? 817 00:50:26,021 --> 00:50:29,146 Including the one in the back, you moron? 818 00:50:29,646 --> 00:50:30,396 Catch! 819 00:50:31,521 --> 00:50:35,812 Nobody leaves until we've elected our new messiah. 820 00:50:36,354 --> 00:50:38,312 We'll do like the Pope thing. 821 00:50:38,312 --> 00:50:40,310 I mean, we've got the smoke. 822 00:50:47,979 --> 00:50:50,854 I've heard lies about our community. 823 00:50:50,854 --> 00:50:53,854 But the biggest one is about my shop. 824 00:50:53,854 --> 00:50:58,396 Now you come in and check that I'm not hiding illegals in my kitchen. 825 00:50:58,396 --> 00:51:00,390 Please, come in, please. 826 00:51:00,390 --> 00:51:02,390 Listen, man, where's this Ameluk? 827 00:51:04,604 --> 00:51:06,229 Shh! Thieves in my kitchen! 828 00:51:07,521 --> 00:51:10,396 Yeah, it's the rats eating the kebab! 829 00:51:11,729 --> 00:51:13,979 - What are you doing here? - Abdul! 830 00:51:13,979 --> 00:51:16,187 Son of a bitch! Do you want to ruin me? 831 00:51:16,187 --> 00:51:18,354 How did you get in? 832 00:51:20,062 --> 00:51:22,062 The wrestling of the Bedouins! 833 00:51:24,021 --> 00:51:25,021 Stop! 834 00:51:25,021 --> 00:51:27,020 Get out! 835 00:51:28,312 --> 00:51:32,937 Leave my brother alone! 836 00:51:32,937 --> 00:51:35,937 Don't hurt my husband! 837 00:51:43,229 --> 00:51:46,021 Get lost! Go back to your own place, Ameluk! 838 00:51:46,021 --> 00:51:47,562 Give me my clothes, you piece of shit! 839 00:51:47,562 --> 00:51:49,437 Out! Out! 840 00:51:49,437 --> 00:51:51,430 Get out! 841 00:51:51,430 --> 00:51:52,562 You piece of shit! 842 00:51:56,104 --> 00:51:57,354 You bastard! 843 00:51:58,979 --> 00:51:59,979 Let me in! 844 00:52:00,937 --> 00:52:02,562 I know you're peeping! 845 00:52:02,562 --> 00:52:04,979 - Open the door, in the name of God! - Which God do you mean? 846 00:52:04,979 --> 00:52:07,521 Damn it, let me in! It's hell out here! 847 00:52:07,521 --> 00:52:09,187 - Do you people believe in hell? - Fuck you! 848 00:52:09,187 --> 00:52:11,021 Get lost or I'll shove that microphone... 849 00:52:11,021 --> 00:52:13,479 - If he does, I'm filming it all! - Open up, damn it! 850 00:52:15,312 --> 00:52:17,521 Get lost! This is no longer your house. 851 00:52:17,521 --> 00:52:20,354 Go away! You're scaring the baby! 852 00:52:21,521 --> 00:52:22,104 Get in! 853 00:52:22,104 --> 00:52:23,187 Well done! 854 00:52:24,604 --> 00:52:26,604 Well done, Maria... nice and beautiful. 855 00:52:26,604 --> 00:52:28,600 Hurray for all Italian women! 856 00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:30,062 Troglodytes! 857 00:52:30,062 --> 00:52:35,187 Learn to respect women like macho Italian males do. 858 00:52:35,187 --> 00:52:38,646 Mario, no point getting all excited. She won't put out. 859 00:52:39,062 --> 00:52:42,104 Damn you! Damn you! 860 00:52:42,396 --> 00:52:43,229 No! 861 00:52:43,229 --> 00:52:45,220 No! No! 862 00:52:50,646 --> 00:52:52,729 That was my father's! 863 00:52:52,729 --> 00:52:56,187 You damn Buddhist! 864 00:52:56,187 --> 00:52:57,437 Damn you! 865 00:52:57,437 --> 00:52:58,646 Shame on us! 866 00:52:58,646 --> 00:53:00,396 What will people say? 867 00:53:00,396 --> 00:53:01,854 I'm here in the street in my underwear 868 00:53:01,854 --> 00:53:04,854 and you're in my house with our son! 869 00:53:05,854 --> 00:53:08,062 She's not a Moroccan whore. 870 00:53:09,396 --> 00:53:11,937 She's a 100% Italian whore! 871 00:53:15,854 --> 00:53:17,521 Come on Lilli, follow him! 872 00:53:20,062 --> 00:53:23,396 Go fight it out in your own country! 873 00:53:29,021 --> 00:53:30,396 Here I am! 874 00:53:31,437 --> 00:53:33,146 Here I am! 875 00:53:34,396 --> 00:53:37,104 Here's your sacrificial lamb. 876 00:53:37,896 --> 00:53:39,021 Abdul! 877 00:53:39,812 --> 00:53:45,646 This isn't good publicity for you, but is my dignity worth a kebab? 878 00:53:45,937 --> 00:53:47,437 Mustafà! 879 00:53:47,687 --> 00:53:49,021 Mustafà! 880 00:53:49,271 --> 00:53:51,854 People are fighting the revolution in your country, 881 00:53:51,854 --> 00:53:54,521 but what the fuck do you do all day? 882 00:53:54,521 --> 00:53:58,729 You screw my head with your fucking motivations. 883 00:53:59,271 --> 00:54:04,396 The truth is that your head is full of fear and ignorance! 884 00:54:04,396 --> 00:54:06,390 You represent the old! 885 00:54:11,062 --> 00:54:13,271 The new Mayor! 886 00:54:13,979 --> 00:54:18,104 You want to defend your land and your traditions? 887 00:54:18,562 --> 00:54:20,646 What traditions? 888 00:54:20,646 --> 00:54:23,562 Those of the racists and the bigots? 889 00:54:24,229 --> 00:54:28,896 The truth is it suits you when I'm the only person standing here. 890 00:54:29,604 --> 00:54:31,354 Hit me! 891 00:54:33,479 --> 00:54:35,312 Hit me, all of you! 892 00:54:36,521 --> 00:54:39,437 Keep on voting for the incompetent and the corrupt. 893 00:54:39,729 --> 00:54:44,312 They're just like the others! They will never allow a real change. 894 00:54:44,646 --> 00:54:48,437 Learn to use your heads, 895 00:54:48,437 --> 00:54:52,937 instead of believing the bullshit the leader of the day tells you. 896 00:54:54,937 --> 00:54:57,396 Here's our true leader! 897 00:54:58,062 --> 00:54:58,937 It's him! 898 00:54:59,396 --> 00:55:03,187 Hey, shut up! It's him! 899 00:55:03,187 --> 00:55:06,021 He's our leader. Our messiah. 900 00:55:06,021 --> 00:55:11,271 We were about to elect a Pope and instead we found a Messiah. 901 00:55:11,271 --> 00:55:13,270 Mayor! Mayor! 902 00:55:13,270 --> 00:55:14,229 Mayor? 903 00:55:14,229 --> 00:55:15,312 What are you talking about? 904 00:55:15,312 --> 00:55:17,979 No. No! No... 905 00:55:17,979 --> 00:55:19,437 Mayor! Mayor! 906 00:55:19,437 --> 00:55:21,812 You don't fucking get it! 907 00:55:22,396 --> 00:55:25,437 I will never again sacrifice myself for anyone! 908 00:55:25,437 --> 00:55:27,146 Shut up! 909 00:55:27,146 --> 00:55:29,937 Ameluk, I'll carry your cross! 910 00:55:29,937 --> 00:55:31,930 I'll carry it for you. 911 00:55:31,930 --> 00:55:36,104 Mayor! Mayor! Mayor! 912 00:55:36,104 --> 00:55:38,100 Mezzasoma... 913 00:55:38,854 --> 00:55:40,854 ...we have our leader. 914 00:55:40,854 --> 00:55:42,187 Fuck you! 915 00:55:42,187 --> 00:55:45,354 Mayor! Mayor! 916 00:55:48,021 --> 00:55:52,354 Like Lenin said, "History, at times, needs a push." 917 00:55:52,354 --> 00:55:53,562 Hey, mind the steps. 918 00:55:53,562 --> 00:55:56,354 These stairs have killed more people than Stalin. 919 00:55:57,771 --> 00:56:01,187 You will be mayor, and I will be your deputy, 920 00:56:01,187 --> 00:56:03,979 I'll do the dirty work for you. 921 00:56:05,479 --> 00:56:06,729 Nice, uh? 922 00:56:06,729 --> 00:56:12,062 When I die this place will put D'Annunzio's Victory Shrine to shame. 923 00:56:12,687 --> 00:56:16,687 Look, the greats of history! 924 00:56:19,646 --> 00:56:21,312 Some greater, some less great. 925 00:56:23,729 --> 00:56:27,521 Before we turn into compost, brother... 926 00:56:28,937 --> 00:56:33,521 ..we must do great things, like them. 927 00:56:34,812 --> 00:56:37,854 You and I will conquer Mariotto, 928 00:56:37,854 --> 00:56:42,521 we'll cross into Palombaio, we'll march on Bitonto. 929 00:56:42,521 --> 00:56:44,520 The universe! 930 00:56:45,229 --> 00:56:47,562 - Do you believe in UFOs? - No. 931 00:56:47,562 --> 00:56:51,396 Ah, if only I had a brother like him! 932 00:56:51,396 --> 00:56:54,896 Instead... Lenin... 933 00:56:54,896 --> 00:56:56,890 my dear Lenin. 934 00:57:03,479 --> 00:57:04,812 Father. 935 00:57:06,104 --> 00:57:09,146 Aren't you going to make a proletarian donation? 936 00:57:09,146 --> 00:57:10,521 I have no money! 937 00:57:10,521 --> 00:57:12,520 Man, you're screwed. 938 00:57:13,604 --> 00:57:15,604 I'll let you in on a secret... 939 00:57:16,396 --> 00:57:19,354 but you mustn't tell anyone. 940 00:57:20,229 --> 00:57:23,229 Jesus was a comrade. 941 00:57:27,521 --> 00:57:31,854 Giselle, this is the world I dream of! 942 00:57:44,604 --> 00:57:45,646 What are you doing? 943 00:57:45,646 --> 00:57:49,646 Don't worry, it's an anti-stress therapy that I patented, 944 00:57:49,646 --> 00:57:51,562 hammer and plaster. 945 00:57:53,437 --> 00:57:54,604 - What's that? - What? 946 00:57:54,604 --> 00:57:56,600 Local parsley. 947 00:57:57,062 --> 00:57:58,600 Here. Let off some steam. 948 00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:00,600 No, not for me. I'm against violence. 949 00:58:05,229 --> 00:58:08,312 Not so hard! Don't make the hole any bigger. 950 00:58:08,312 --> 00:58:10,310 You'll bring the whole building down! 951 00:58:10,310 --> 00:58:12,979 Huh! "I'm against violence." 952 00:58:13,479 --> 00:58:16,396 I'm not sure I want to be mayor. 953 00:58:16,396 --> 00:58:18,729 Good man. Good man! 954 00:58:19,062 --> 00:58:20,646 Because we need a load of ideas 955 00:58:20,646 --> 00:58:25,521 against that Nazi Mezzasoma and that fake Apulian Richard Gere. 956 00:58:25,521 --> 00:58:30,104 I'm organizing an election party for you with the cream of the area! 957 00:58:30,687 --> 00:58:33,729 I was ready to form an alliance with the left-wing Catholics, 958 00:58:33,729 --> 00:58:35,720 instead who did I find on my path? 959 00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:37,720 A Muslim Christ. 960 00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:39,062 I'm no Christ. 961 00:58:39,062 --> 00:58:41,604 Don't worry. Nobody's gonna notice. 962 00:58:41,604 --> 00:58:44,062 Ah, smell the onions! 963 00:58:46,937 --> 00:58:48,479 What's this nonsense? 964 00:58:49,312 --> 00:58:50,354 Nonsense? 965 00:58:50,896 --> 00:58:51,771 Son... 966 00:58:54,146 --> 00:58:55,687 ..do you not believe in UFOs? 967 00:58:55,687 --> 00:58:56,896 No. 968 00:58:58,062 --> 00:59:02,396 Are you gonna tell me that Jesus, Marx and Cassano the soccer player, 969 00:59:02,396 --> 00:59:03,729 are normal people? 970 00:59:03,729 --> 00:59:10,396 They are beings from other worlds that have come to save humanity! 971 00:59:18,062 --> 00:59:21,479 And...do you think I'm normal? 972 00:59:56,229 --> 01:00:00,396 Motorbikes give me a sense of peace and relaxation. 973 01:00:00,396 --> 01:00:02,896 With the salary you'll give me, I'll buy one. 974 01:00:02,896 --> 01:00:07,062 Salary? We need to win an election before we talk about salaries. 975 01:00:07,062 --> 01:00:10,271 - And judging by how we're doing... - Comrades! 976 01:00:10,271 --> 01:00:16,646 Ameluk, the first ordinary Muslim Christ, Mayor of Italy! 977 01:00:16,646 --> 01:00:20,604 Vote for Ameluk and get him voted. 978 01:00:21,271 --> 01:00:22,396 Hey, Ameluk! 979 01:00:22,396 --> 01:00:25,604 By Ho Chi Minh, I smell victory! 980 01:00:26,437 --> 01:00:33,021 No pork for you, but you'd love some sangria, you crazy bastard! 981 01:00:33,021 --> 01:00:35,020 Wait. Flex your abs. 982 01:00:53,812 --> 01:00:54,562 Mr. Mayor? 983 01:00:54,562 --> 01:00:56,560 Mr. Worthless Outgoing Mayor? 984 01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:57,604 Richard Gere! 985 01:00:59,854 --> 01:01:03,687 Thanks to your policies, the sewage of the whole region is in our square. 986 01:01:03,687 --> 01:01:05,562 - Watch the dog! - What dog? 987 01:01:05,562 --> 01:01:07,937 You have a dog? I didn't realize it was a dog. 988 01:01:10,771 --> 01:01:12,146 What if they win? 989 01:01:13,562 --> 01:01:18,479 Listen to me, let's join forces and I'll let you be my Deputy Mayor. 990 01:01:18,979 --> 01:01:21,229 - Honesty, my friend! - Honesty? 991 01:01:21,229 --> 01:01:24,729 You're the one who put wind turbines that don't work 992 01:01:24,729 --> 01:01:26,979 in fields where the wind doesn't blow. 993 01:01:26,979 --> 01:01:29,937 And you talk of honesty to me? 994 01:01:29,937 --> 01:01:31,812 Tell you what, you blow on them. 995 01:01:33,521 --> 01:01:36,187 - I'm gonna win! - Yeah, right. Get out of here. 996 01:01:37,646 --> 01:01:39,479 Go Hatchi, take care. 997 01:01:41,187 --> 01:01:45,687 Mario, you promised I'd be your Deputy Mayor. 998 01:01:46,604 --> 01:01:47,979 - Really? - Yeah. 999 01:01:47,979 --> 01:01:49,970 You as well? 1000 01:01:49,970 --> 01:01:52,979 What a shame. You as well. You as well. 1001 01:01:54,646 --> 01:01:57,687 Just because I said that someone else is screwing his woman. 1002 01:01:57,687 --> 01:01:59,680 He's such a sore loser! 1003 01:02:00,271 --> 01:02:03,896 Listen to your dad. You have to forget that infidel. 1004 01:02:03,896 --> 01:02:05,312 Shut up. 1005 01:02:05,729 --> 01:02:06,937 Racist. 1006 01:02:08,312 --> 01:02:11,396 You have to get back with the Buddhist. 1007 01:02:11,396 --> 01:02:13,390 He's probably gonna become mayor. 1008 01:02:13,390 --> 01:02:15,390 But I said on TV he beat me! 1009 01:02:15,390 --> 01:02:19,854 So what? Everybody talks crap on TV. Why would they remember yours? 1010 01:02:19,854 --> 01:02:23,687 Talk all you like, but Mezzasoma is bound to win. 1011 01:02:24,437 --> 01:02:26,187 Girl, look at me. 1012 01:02:28,437 --> 01:02:33,562 If it doesn't work out with one, it'll work out with the other. 1013 01:02:35,687 --> 01:02:36,812 Understand? 1014 01:02:45,812 --> 01:02:49,187 Don't forget the Arabic cuisine! 1015 01:02:49,187 --> 01:02:53,062 It's mandatory to eat at the kebab shop. 1016 01:02:53,062 --> 01:02:56,271 The calzone is outlawed. 1017 01:02:56,271 --> 01:02:59,187 Comrades, let's contaminate ourselves! 1018 01:02:59,187 --> 01:03:01,180 Let's contaminate ourselves! 1019 01:03:03,687 --> 01:03:07,771 For the first time your brother did something sensible. 1020 01:03:07,771 --> 01:03:11,104 If I hadn't beaten him up, he wouldn't have been nominated. 1021 01:03:11,104 --> 01:03:13,100 Sometimes a little force helps. 1022 01:03:13,687 --> 01:03:16,187 Stop! Stop! What are you doing? 1023 01:03:16,187 --> 01:03:20,229 First you ask your devious questions and then you edit the answers! 1024 01:03:20,229 --> 01:03:23,521 Don't worry, I'll do the talking. I know your program by heart. 1025 01:03:23,521 --> 01:03:26,146 I should know it too. And change your name! 1026 01:03:26,146 --> 01:03:28,437 For the Palestinians, Arafat was a martyr. 1027 01:03:35,354 --> 01:03:38,854 Talking about casting pearls before a swine... 1028 01:03:39,562 --> 01:03:40,729 This is my uncle! 1029 01:03:40,729 --> 01:03:42,562 Thank you for the blood you donated. 1030 01:03:42,562 --> 01:03:44,560 I'll vote for you because you're honest. 1031 01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:45,396 Thank you. 1032 01:03:45,396 --> 01:03:48,021 - Let's go drink some sangria. - Come on! 1033 01:03:50,854 --> 01:03:53,062 Jusuf, I'm sorry it's come to this. 1034 01:03:53,062 --> 01:03:54,771 - I didn't think that... - Come to what? 1035 01:03:54,771 --> 01:03:56,770 They are strangers, but they're helping me. 1036 01:03:56,770 --> 01:03:58,770 Can't you see they want to use you? 1037 01:03:58,770 --> 01:04:01,562 Yeah? Are you afraid of a Muslim with a bit of power? 1038 01:04:01,562 --> 01:04:03,979 Power is scary no matter who holds it. 1039 01:04:03,979 --> 01:04:06,562 Jusuf, you accepted your candidacy out of anger. 1040 01:04:06,562 --> 01:04:09,312 Sure! What I shouldn't have accepted is something else... 1041 01:04:09,312 --> 01:04:11,310 Screw you! 1042 01:04:14,146 --> 01:04:16,604 Your daughter has quite a temper, uh? 1043 01:04:16,604 --> 01:04:18,600 Just like my sister, rest her soul. 1044 01:04:28,146 --> 01:04:32,229 By offering karaoke and sangria, the stupid Moroccan became popular, eh? 1045 01:04:32,229 --> 01:04:37,729 You could do what Achille Lauro did, the guy who ran for mayor of Naples. 1046 01:04:37,729 --> 01:04:40,479 He offered the voters one shoe before the election 1047 01:04:40,479 --> 01:04:43,229 and the other after the victory... 1048 01:04:46,646 --> 01:04:47,771 It's an idea. 1049 01:04:48,687 --> 01:04:49,687 Your idea. 1050 01:04:49,687 --> 01:04:53,521 - No... Yours... - Did he become mayor in the end? 1051 01:04:53,521 --> 01:04:54,937 Who, Lauro? 1052 01:04:54,937 --> 01:04:57,104 No, your sister. Yes, Achille Lauro! 1053 01:04:57,104 --> 01:04:59,896 - The guy whose boat was hijacked by terrorists. - Yes. 1054 01:05:13,062 --> 01:05:14,104 Idea! 1055 01:05:14,937 --> 01:05:15,937 Yours... 1056 01:05:17,562 --> 01:05:19,896 I'll organize a press conference 1057 01:05:19,896 --> 01:05:22,521 and discredit him in front of everyone 1058 01:05:22,521 --> 01:05:25,354 by saying he has a brother who is a terrorist. 1059 01:05:25,354 --> 01:05:27,350 But that's not true. 1060 01:05:28,354 --> 01:05:31,104 Does he have a brother back in his own country? 1061 01:05:31,479 --> 01:05:32,312 Yes. 1062 01:05:33,479 --> 01:05:35,104 Then, he's a terrorist. 1063 01:06:24,604 --> 01:06:25,896 I miss you. 1064 01:06:25,896 --> 01:06:28,354 - Where's Paolino? - With my mom. 1065 01:06:28,354 --> 01:06:30,479 - He was asking for you. - He's not talking yet! 1066 01:06:30,479 --> 01:06:32,470 Yeah, but I understand your son. 1067 01:06:33,604 --> 01:06:35,479 Like I understand you. 1068 01:06:35,479 --> 01:06:38,229 But let's talk about us. 1069 01:06:38,229 --> 01:06:39,687 Let's. 1070 01:06:39,687 --> 01:06:41,937 You kicked me out. You disgraced me on TV. 1071 01:06:41,937 --> 01:06:44,479 The journalists forced me, for their ratings. 1072 01:06:44,979 --> 01:06:47,271 You don't think I did it because my mother told me to? 1073 01:06:47,271 --> 01:06:49,562 I'm a victim as well. 1074 01:06:50,687 --> 01:06:52,021 Come on, Jusuf, come. 1075 01:06:52,021 --> 01:06:55,396 If you come back home, I'll eat your sausage. 1076 01:06:55,396 --> 01:06:57,390 - You mean the wild boar? - That as well. 1077 01:06:57,812 --> 01:06:59,687 But you have to do something for me. 1078 01:06:59,687 --> 01:07:02,896 You have to win the election. 1079 01:07:04,812 --> 01:07:06,479 Come here. Come on. 1080 01:07:06,479 --> 01:07:07,479 That's enough! 1081 01:07:07,479 --> 01:07:09,937 You became impotent running after her? 1082 01:07:09,937 --> 01:07:13,396 You see what happens when you go after damaged goods? 1083 01:07:13,396 --> 01:07:15,354 You wanted a church wedding the Italian way. 1084 01:07:15,354 --> 01:07:17,350 I'll give you a divorce the Muslim way... 1085 01:07:17,350 --> 01:07:22,896 I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you. 1086 01:07:27,646 --> 01:07:28,687 Fuck you! 1087 01:07:29,271 --> 01:07:33,479 Mezzasoma is a real man, elegant, refined, 1088 01:07:33,479 --> 01:07:35,312 he knows how to treat a woman. 1089 01:07:35,312 --> 01:07:37,310 I want to see how you do against him. 1090 01:07:37,310 --> 01:07:39,310 You've got no balls! 1091 01:07:43,396 --> 01:07:44,562 My jacket. 1092 01:07:48,729 --> 01:07:50,812 Welcome to Split-Screen. 1093 01:07:50,812 --> 01:07:53,979 Here with us are Mariotto's two main mayoral candidates. 1094 01:07:53,979 --> 01:07:58,437 Let's start with the first question, for Mr. Mezzasoma. 1095 01:07:58,729 --> 01:08:04,312 Some people say your campaign has degenerated into mere racism. 1096 01:08:04,312 --> 01:08:05,771 Lies. 1097 01:08:05,771 --> 01:08:10,479 The degenerates are others, those who try to steal our traditions. 1098 01:08:10,479 --> 01:08:13,104 Your traditions have only caused me problems. 1099 01:08:13,104 --> 01:08:14,562 Would you like to abolish them? 1100 01:08:14,562 --> 01:08:18,021 This is an attack on the foundations of our society. 1101 01:08:18,021 --> 01:08:19,853 How can we defend ourselves 1102 01:08:19,853 --> 01:08:23,812 when our faith teaches us to turn the other cheek? 1103 01:08:23,812 --> 01:08:25,603 So far, I'm the only one who got slapped. 1104 01:08:25,603 --> 01:08:26,521 Thank God! 1105 01:08:26,521 --> 01:08:29,771 These people come to our country and want to do things their way! 1106 01:08:29,771 --> 01:08:34,896 No way. You are guests. Temporary guests. 1107 01:08:34,896 --> 01:08:36,437 Even my son who was born here? 1108 01:08:36,437 --> 01:08:40,228 You want me to spout the usual "I condemn violence"? 1109 01:08:40,228 --> 01:08:42,853 I understand where that anger comes from! 1110 01:08:42,853 --> 01:08:43,812 Did you hear him? 1111 01:08:43,812 --> 01:08:48,437 This man here has a brother back home who's a terrorist! 1112 01:08:48,437 --> 01:08:51,187 - That's not true! You're a liar! - It is true. 1113 01:08:51,187 --> 01:08:53,646 This man here in his own country, 1114 01:08:53,646 --> 01:08:58,728 him and all his fellow countrymen, they're terrorists! 1115 01:09:00,353 --> 01:09:01,562 You idiot! 1116 01:09:01,562 --> 01:09:04,478 They got what they wanted. Now to everybody he's violent! 1117 01:09:04,478 --> 01:09:06,469 Please, turn off the TV. 1118 01:09:06,469 --> 01:09:08,062 Fellow citizens... 1119 01:09:08,437 --> 01:09:09,771 voters... 1120 01:09:09,771 --> 01:09:11,770 no more turning the other cheek. 1121 01:09:11,770 --> 01:09:16,687 Mezzasoma, don't worry. We're ready. We've sharpened our hatchets. 1122 01:09:16,687 --> 01:09:19,771 Just burp and we'll attack! 1123 01:09:22,937 --> 01:09:28,021 And like Mao Zedong, bless his soul, once said, 1124 01:09:28,021 --> 01:09:30,646 "The revolution is not a tea party!" 1125 01:09:30,646 --> 01:09:32,271 Out, out! 1126 01:09:32,271 --> 01:09:36,478 Now I'm gonna be the one paying for this! That moron! 1127 01:09:36,478 --> 01:09:38,062 He did good! 1128 01:09:38,062 --> 01:09:40,146 Dad, shut up, please! 1129 01:09:40,687 --> 01:09:42,812 Do I have to take him with a broken nose? 1130 01:09:42,812 --> 01:09:45,728 Hey! If he becomes mayor, you'll make the sacrifice. 1131 01:09:45,728 --> 01:09:48,521 Mario Mezzasoma, mayoral candidate... 1132 01:10:36,603 --> 01:10:39,062 We've been here for three hours. When's it my turn? 1133 01:10:39,062 --> 01:10:41,059 You're a code yellow. You have to wait. 1134 01:10:41,059 --> 01:10:44,146 - That gypsy got seen before me. - His leg was in shreds. 1135 01:10:44,146 --> 01:10:47,478 In shreds! I bet he was out robbing an apartment. 1136 01:10:47,478 --> 01:10:52,353 If you're Italian, you have to get shot to be hospitalized right away. 1137 01:10:52,353 --> 01:10:54,771 That Ameluk is a reverse Ali Agca 1138 01:10:54,771 --> 01:10:57,062 who first shot the Pope and then said he was Jesus. 1139 01:10:57,062 --> 01:10:59,059 Ameluk, first he says he's Jesus and then... 1140 01:10:59,059 --> 01:11:00,562 And then he shoots you. 1141 01:11:01,396 --> 01:11:02,812 That way you'll be seen sooner. 1142 01:11:03,812 --> 01:11:05,021 Asshole! 1143 01:11:07,103 --> 01:11:09,187 If he shoots me, who's gonna give you a job? 1144 01:11:09,187 --> 01:11:12,103 Ameluk? His private secretary! 1145 01:11:13,062 --> 01:11:14,562 This is Italian blood. 1146 01:11:16,021 --> 01:11:17,646 Our blood! 1147 01:11:19,187 --> 01:11:20,896 And blood is avenged with blood. 1148 01:11:22,937 --> 01:11:26,478 Holy Mary, I just got an idea! What an idea! 1149 01:11:26,478 --> 01:11:29,103 Another one of yours... 1150 01:11:29,562 --> 01:11:36,437 "GET OUT OF OUR LAND" 1151 01:11:42,478 --> 01:11:43,728 Get out! 1152 01:11:43,728 --> 01:11:46,271 Jusuf! Are you alright? What's gotten into you? 1153 01:11:46,271 --> 01:11:48,812 No lectures! Your husband's are more than enough. 1154 01:11:48,812 --> 01:11:51,687 You're not daring to say he's wrong? 1155 01:11:51,687 --> 01:11:57,228 My father said that all you Muslims are violent, so I punched him! 1156 01:11:57,478 --> 01:11:58,521 Look at what you did. 1157 01:11:58,521 --> 01:12:01,187 Who sent you, your husband? You go to hell as well! 1158 01:12:03,021 --> 01:12:04,978 - Christian, Minguccio, go home! - No, I don't want to. 1159 01:12:04,978 --> 01:12:06,978 Police! 1160 01:12:06,978 --> 01:12:09,853 We have to search for illegal firearms. 1161 01:12:09,853 --> 01:12:12,521 - There must be some mistake. - No mistake. 1162 01:12:12,521 --> 01:12:14,520 Gianni, start searching. 1163 01:12:16,687 --> 01:12:17,646 Hey! 1164 01:12:17,646 --> 01:12:19,639 Stop! Stop! 1165 01:12:21,603 --> 01:12:22,812 Stop! 1166 01:12:40,353 --> 01:12:43,062 I knew he was a terrorist. 1167 01:12:43,062 --> 01:12:44,187 Mom! What are you saying? 1168 01:12:44,187 --> 01:12:46,896 Ma'am, we only received an anonymous call 1169 01:12:46,896 --> 01:12:49,187 about illegal firearms in the Internet Café. 1170 01:12:49,187 --> 01:12:52,146 But nothing was found. He's not a terrorist. 1171 01:12:52,146 --> 01:12:55,146 Are you kidding? He even cast voodoo spells on the baby! 1172 01:12:55,146 --> 01:12:55,812 Mom! 1173 01:12:55,812 --> 01:13:00,312 Justice is always slow in this fucking country, isn't it, Officer? 1174 01:13:02,312 --> 01:13:03,978 - My license is in order. - Yeah. 1175 01:13:03,978 --> 01:13:06,103 - What if he wants to kill her? - Mother of God! 1176 01:13:06,103 --> 01:13:07,562 That's what they do! 1177 01:13:07,562 --> 01:13:09,853 I want bodyguards for the whole family! 1178 01:13:09,853 --> 01:13:11,353 Bodyguards? 1179 01:13:11,353 --> 01:13:14,853 Ma'am, we barely have money for gas. Bodyguards! 1180 01:13:15,312 --> 01:13:17,978 I buy scratchies to try and make ends meet. 1181 01:13:19,062 --> 01:13:20,728 Anyway, where can I find him? 1182 01:13:21,103 --> 01:13:23,396 At the house of the Antichrist! 1183 01:13:23,812 --> 01:13:24,646 Officer. 1184 01:13:24,646 --> 01:13:28,771 I swear on Baby Jesus, he never set foot in here. 1185 01:13:28,771 --> 01:13:30,770 Come in. Check, if you don't believe me. 1186 01:13:30,770 --> 01:13:33,812 I'd better not, or I'd have to arrest you for your aromatic plants. 1187 01:13:33,812 --> 01:13:36,437 - It's just parsley, Officer. - Yeah, Jamaican. 1188 01:13:36,437 --> 01:13:37,396 No, local. 1189 01:13:38,146 --> 01:13:41,271 And to think that I turned him into the Malcolm X of Puglia. 1190 01:13:41,687 --> 01:13:42,646 As well? 1191 01:13:44,437 --> 01:13:46,021 Here you go, Officer. 1192 01:13:46,021 --> 01:13:48,646 Kebab with plenty of onions, the way you like it. 1193 01:13:48,646 --> 01:13:50,312 But now you come back here 1194 01:13:50,312 --> 01:13:53,562 and see that I'm not hiding that asshole of my brother-in-law. 1195 01:13:53,562 --> 01:13:55,062 Come, Officer! 1196 01:13:55,062 --> 01:13:57,353 Officer, what will you do to my brother? 1197 01:13:57,353 --> 01:13:59,271 Who cares! 1198 01:13:59,271 --> 01:14:01,521 We have nothing to do with him now, Officer. 1199 01:14:01,521 --> 01:14:03,187 We don't want any trouble. 1200 01:14:03,187 --> 01:14:05,478 Come, come. 1201 01:14:05,562 --> 01:14:07,353 Well, Officer? 1202 01:14:10,812 --> 01:14:12,271 A beer, please. 1203 01:14:12,271 --> 01:14:16,478 That idiot finally listened to me. He found his true motivation. 1204 01:14:18,187 --> 01:14:19,437 Well, Mezzasoma? 1205 01:14:20,062 --> 01:14:21,228 What can I say! 1206 01:14:21,228 --> 01:14:23,219 Here you go, Officer. 1207 01:14:23,219 --> 01:14:26,146 A wonderful calzone with onions. 1208 01:14:26,146 --> 01:14:28,139 - Onions here as well? - It's tasty. 1209 01:14:28,812 --> 01:14:31,103 Courtesy of the future mayor. 1210 01:14:31,103 --> 01:14:32,396 You're a true cheapskate! 1211 01:14:32,396 --> 01:14:34,389 Anyway, I'm appalled at what happened. 1212 01:14:34,389 --> 01:14:38,228 Debates and disputes, as long as they're civil, 1213 01:14:38,228 --> 01:14:40,396 are the salt and pepper of democracy. 1214 01:14:40,396 --> 01:14:44,396 But we're now talking about illegal possession of weapons, terrorism... 1215 01:14:44,396 --> 01:14:48,562 Come on, Officer, he can't run for office! He can't. 1216 01:14:48,562 --> 01:14:50,771 - But something doesn't quite add up. -Yeah? 1217 01:14:50,771 --> 01:14:54,437 All this chaos started because of an anonymous phone call. 1218 01:14:56,228 --> 01:15:01,062 So I'm asking, does anybody here want to come clean with a statement? 1219 01:15:01,062 --> 01:15:02,521 A statement? 1220 01:15:02,521 --> 01:15:03,353 - I... 1221 01:15:04,103 --> 01:15:07,978 - Pino, do you think it was me? - No. 1222 01:15:08,937 --> 01:15:11,146 Michele, Officer, you all think it was me? 1223 01:15:11,146 --> 01:15:13,139 You all think it was me? 1224 01:15:13,139 --> 01:15:15,139 Me, who spilled blood for Mariotto? 1225 01:15:15,139 --> 01:15:18,478 Me, who will bring gas and the internet to your homes, if elected. 1226 01:15:18,478 --> 01:15:20,021 The internet, can you imagine? 1227 01:15:20,021 --> 01:15:22,187 Officer... Pino... 1228 01:15:22,271 --> 01:15:25,478 Me, who considered this rat hole of a café my home and office? 1229 01:15:25,478 --> 01:15:26,812 That's true. 1230 01:15:27,271 --> 01:15:29,146 No, my friends, no, Officer. 1231 01:15:29,146 --> 01:15:32,646 I didn't expect this even from pieces of shit like you. 1232 01:15:32,646 --> 01:15:34,478 With all due respect, Officer. 1233 01:15:34,478 --> 01:15:36,469 I really needed a digestive. 1234 01:15:36,469 --> 01:15:38,469 After all those onions. 1235 01:15:38,469 --> 01:15:41,896 Did you actually think that I would be hiding him in my home? 1236 01:15:41,896 --> 01:15:44,562 - Come on, Officer! - You're right. 1237 01:15:44,562 --> 01:15:46,771 Those people are especially hostile towards you... 1238 01:15:47,603 --> 01:15:49,600 - Towards you... - Well? 1239 01:15:50,146 --> 01:15:50,978 Alright... 1240 01:15:52,146 --> 01:15:53,187 Goodbye. 1241 01:15:54,146 --> 01:15:55,437 Goodbye. 1242 01:15:58,353 --> 01:15:59,687 Goodbye. 1243 01:16:03,187 --> 01:16:04,271 Weird, uh? 1244 01:16:04,853 --> 01:16:07,187 A Muslim who played Christ, 1245 01:16:07,187 --> 01:16:11,021 accused of terrorism by a self-styled Catholic, 1246 01:16:11,021 --> 01:16:17,521 his opponent in the mayoral elections, asks a Jew for refuge. 1247 01:16:19,646 --> 01:16:20,896 What a country! 1248 01:16:21,228 --> 01:16:22,437 I need a car. 1249 01:16:22,812 --> 01:16:25,062 I have to see Rita. You know where she is? 1250 01:16:25,062 --> 01:16:25,853 Yes... 1251 01:16:25,853 --> 01:16:28,396 She's in Bitonto for a tour of the cathedral. 1252 01:16:31,312 --> 01:16:33,978 My wife and I eloped by bike. 1253 01:16:42,271 --> 01:16:43,228 Go. 1254 01:16:49,896 --> 01:16:51,728 History's repeating itself. 1255 01:16:53,687 --> 01:16:56,603 This is a baptismal font dating back to the 11th century, 1256 01:16:56,603 --> 01:17:02,271 carved out of a single block of stone that has one peculiarity. 1257 01:17:03,103 --> 01:17:04,312 Listen. 1258 01:17:22,396 --> 01:17:24,478 - Follow me. - Please go with Emanuele. 1259 01:17:24,478 --> 01:17:26,062 Thank you. 1260 01:18:05,396 --> 01:18:07,937 They are looking for me, but I didn't do anything. 1261 01:18:07,937 --> 01:18:08,978 I believe you. 1262 01:18:08,978 --> 01:18:11,728 These people use culture and religion like weapons. 1263 01:18:11,728 --> 01:18:13,719 I know all about these things. 1264 01:18:15,312 --> 01:18:17,521 It's the first time I've ever set foot in a church. 1265 01:18:18,562 --> 01:18:20,103 I feel like I'm in a mosque. 1266 01:18:20,103 --> 01:18:22,603 This church was built by Arabs. 1267 01:18:22,603 --> 01:18:24,600 What are you going to do now? 1268 01:18:53,021 --> 01:18:54,978 Motivation! 1269 01:19:00,437 --> 01:19:01,521 Professor... 1270 01:19:01,521 --> 01:19:03,520 did he steal your car, or what? 1271 01:19:35,937 --> 01:19:42,478 God has raised this Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses. 1272 01:19:42,478 --> 01:19:46,396 Raised to the right hand of God, 1273 01:19:46,396 --> 01:19:53,103 and after he received from the Father the promised Holy Spirit, he... 1274 01:19:55,646 --> 01:19:57,728 No, not again! 1275 01:20:00,603 --> 01:20:01,771 Hey! What's happening? 1276 01:20:01,771 --> 01:20:03,103 Ameluk's come back. 1277 01:20:03,103 --> 01:20:06,603 What's this? The conversion of Ameluk? Damn it. 1278 01:20:06,603 --> 01:20:12,603 He's gonna force me to set foot in a church. Shit! Fucking Judas! 1279 01:20:28,896 --> 01:20:30,062 Is he a "karaoke?" 1280 01:20:30,062 --> 01:20:32,059 It's "kamikaze". 1281 01:20:32,937 --> 01:20:35,771 But he couldn't even hurt a fly! 1282 01:20:35,771 --> 01:20:39,228 I bet he's gonna convert right now, I tell you, Dad. 1283 01:20:39,228 --> 01:20:43,728 He may be a Mormon, but I always liked him. 1284 01:21:04,521 --> 01:21:06,021 Hey, Pino! 1285 01:21:06,437 --> 01:21:07,521 Pinuccio! 1286 01:21:07,521 --> 01:21:08,728 Cheapskate! 1287 01:21:10,853 --> 01:21:12,728 Tonino, call the police. 1288 01:21:13,271 --> 01:21:14,853 Not everything has a price. 1289 01:21:15,353 --> 01:21:20,103 Not everything has a price. No more credit. It's finished! 1290 01:21:20,103 --> 01:21:22,271 Gone! It's finished! Finished! 1291 01:21:22,562 --> 01:21:23,646 See you! 1292 01:21:24,103 --> 01:21:24,896 Bye! 1293 01:21:25,603 --> 01:21:27,353 Sissy! 1294 01:21:27,687 --> 01:21:28,271 Loser! 1295 01:21:28,271 --> 01:21:30,437 Hey, Pasquale! Michele! 1296 01:21:30,937 --> 01:21:32,437 Where are you all going? 1297 01:21:33,603 --> 01:21:36,687 Fucking Italian rednecks! 1298 01:21:36,687 --> 01:21:37,896 Losers! 1299 01:21:37,896 --> 01:21:39,271 This is the Mafia! 1300 01:21:39,271 --> 01:21:44,728 Well done! Don't come back begging "Give me a job. Mezzasoma, help me!" 1301 01:22:21,646 --> 01:22:26,187 Did you know that Muslims can enter a church and pray there 1302 01:22:26,187 --> 01:22:28,180 if they have no alternative? 1303 01:22:30,271 --> 01:22:31,228 I know. 1304 01:22:37,146 --> 01:22:40,021 Officer, you can arrest me whenever you want. 1305 01:22:40,478 --> 01:22:43,646 Don't worry. Do what you have to do. On you go. 1306 01:22:45,021 --> 01:22:50,603 If he starts talking about peace, it's the end of the revolution. 1307 01:22:50,603 --> 01:22:52,896 - The end! - Worm, go back underground. 1308 01:22:52,896 --> 01:22:54,889 It's time for a new alliance. 1309 01:22:56,853 --> 01:22:59,396 Shut up or I'll break your face! 1310 01:23:01,896 --> 01:23:02,896 You as well! 1311 01:23:02,896 --> 01:23:03,937 Silence! 1312 01:23:05,437 --> 01:23:06,562 Salam alaykum. 1313 01:23:08,728 --> 01:23:09,853 I'm leaving. 1314 01:23:11,146 --> 01:23:12,062 I'm going. 1315 01:23:12,978 --> 01:23:14,521 I'm going back to my own country. 1316 01:23:16,603 --> 01:23:18,437 But on one condition... 1317 01:23:20,562 --> 01:23:25,312 ..that one of you will be willing to tell my son, when he grows up, 1318 01:23:27,478 --> 01:23:29,728 ...the reason why his father had to leave. 1319 01:23:32,978 --> 01:23:34,978 I'll tell him why...! 1320 01:23:45,521 --> 01:23:47,353 Who are you? 1321 01:23:47,353 --> 01:23:48,937 - Don't touch me! - Take it easy. 1322 01:23:48,937 --> 01:23:51,603 - I want a doctor. - I am the doctor. 1323 01:23:51,603 --> 01:23:53,600 I want an Italian doctor, alright? 1324 01:23:53,600 --> 01:23:56,937 - Jerk! - Well said. 1325 01:23:57,562 --> 01:24:01,021 What are you doing there, Father? A priest in hospital is bad luck. 1326 01:24:01,021 --> 01:24:03,978 Don't worry. Your time hasn't come yet. 1327 01:24:04,353 --> 01:24:04,978 Pino! 1328 01:24:04,978 --> 01:24:06,969 Hi, Mario. They gave you 30 stitches. 1329 01:24:07,396 --> 01:24:08,937 30 stitches. 1330 01:24:08,937 --> 01:24:11,021 - What did they remove, Pino? - No, no... 1331 01:24:11,021 --> 01:24:13,228 This is the calzone I made for you. 1332 01:24:13,228 --> 01:24:14,312 You idiot! 1333 01:24:14,312 --> 01:24:17,353 The calzone he made for you! 1334 01:24:17,353 --> 01:24:20,396 I got 30 stitches. 1335 01:24:20,396 --> 01:24:24,228 How many years prison did they give that Moroccan Gandhi of yours? 1336 01:24:24,228 --> 01:24:26,603 Jordanian. They didn't give him any. 1337 01:24:26,603 --> 01:24:30,562 But we'll see what they'll do to whoever made that anonymous call. 1338 01:24:32,271 --> 01:24:33,771 I told them everything. 1339 01:24:35,271 --> 01:24:37,437 - Take it easy. - I quit. 1340 01:24:37,437 --> 01:24:39,430 Even if you never gave me a job, asshole. 1341 01:24:40,646 --> 01:24:43,853 Son of a bitch! You and that Moroccan bled me dry! 1342 01:24:43,853 --> 01:24:45,021 On the contrary. 1343 01:24:45,021 --> 01:24:50,228 Strangely enough, you have the same very rare blood type as... 1344 01:24:50,603 --> 01:24:51,728 You understand, right? 1345 01:24:53,021 --> 01:24:57,187 You're now half-blood, half Mameluke! 1346 01:24:57,812 --> 01:25:00,771 No, I beg you! 1347 01:25:01,271 --> 01:25:05,312 Purify my blood! I beg you! Purify my blood! 1348 01:25:05,312 --> 01:25:07,728 And there's another surprise. 1349 01:25:07,728 --> 01:25:09,719 I want a transfusion! 1350 01:25:09,719 --> 01:25:11,719 Your brother is here, look. 1351 01:25:11,719 --> 01:25:15,271 I don't have a brother! I'm an only child. 1352 01:25:15,271 --> 01:25:18,103 Don't come any closer, you fucking communist! 1353 01:25:18,103 --> 01:25:20,062 - Look what I brought you. - Fucking communist! 1354 01:25:20,062 --> 01:25:21,353 Gimme a kiss. 1355 01:25:24,646 --> 01:25:25,603 Can't you see? 1356 01:25:25,603 --> 01:25:28,562 I washed my hair. I took a shower. 1357 01:25:29,187 --> 01:25:30,559 Morphine! 1358 01:25:31,437 --> 01:25:33,021 One more kiss. One more kiss. 1359 01:25:33,021 --> 01:25:34,396 - No! - Yeah! 1360 01:25:34,728 --> 01:25:36,812 I need morphine! 1361 01:26:03,603 --> 01:26:04,646 Thank you! 1362 01:26:05,228 --> 01:26:06,646 Hey, don't touch it. 1363 01:26:15,937 --> 01:26:16,937 Giovanni! 1364 01:26:17,312 --> 01:26:18,271 Get out. 1365 01:26:19,478 --> 01:26:21,228 Please, get out. 1366 01:26:22,603 --> 01:26:26,396 No, don't put it in... don't touch it! 1367 01:26:26,396 --> 01:26:31,271 It's not mine. The car's not mine! We just confiscated it. 1368 01:26:31,771 --> 01:26:35,396 I have to take it to the impound lot. I have to put my own gas in it. 1369 01:26:36,146 --> 01:26:38,062 Giovanni...Giovanni... 1370 01:26:38,728 --> 01:26:39,978 I didn't win it. 1371 01:26:44,478 --> 01:26:45,937 I've never won anything. 1372 01:26:46,771 --> 01:26:49,146 Partner. What about the computers for your ex-boss? 1373 01:26:49,146 --> 01:26:51,771 - I got him energy-efficient ones. - Well done. 1374 01:26:51,771 --> 01:26:53,853 Energy-deficient, more like it. 1375 01:26:53,853 --> 01:26:56,978 You people really think Mezzasoma is going to pay you? 1376 01:26:57,646 --> 01:27:00,396 He's not a bad man. He's just misunderstood. 1377 01:27:00,396 --> 01:27:03,312 Listen, Jusuf, Jisef, whatever your name is! 1378 01:27:03,603 --> 01:27:06,353 Regarding the composting with earthworms, 1379 01:27:06,353 --> 01:27:08,478 will you people on the City Council help us or not? 1380 01:27:08,478 --> 01:27:10,978 Don't worry, I'll propose it at the next meeting. 1381 01:27:10,978 --> 01:27:15,437 You better, or I'm going to release all the worms and start a wind farm. 1382 01:27:15,437 --> 01:27:16,896 I'll propose it. I'll propose it. 1383 01:27:16,896 --> 01:27:19,271 You heard that, Minguccio? He'll propose it, he'll propose it. 1384 01:27:19,271 --> 01:27:21,270 Let's hope so! 1385 01:27:21,812 --> 01:27:23,771 - Good evening. - Good evening. 1386 01:27:23,771 --> 01:27:24,728 Where's Paolino? 1387 01:27:25,062 --> 01:27:26,771 With Mom because he was crying. 1388 01:27:26,771 --> 01:27:29,728 I brought you the baby bag with a change of clothes, diapers, 1389 01:27:29,728 --> 01:27:30,937 food and baby bottle. 1390 01:27:30,937 --> 01:27:31,562 Thank you. 1391 01:27:32,646 --> 01:27:35,562 Remember his jacket when he goes out or he'll catch a cold. 1392 01:27:35,562 --> 01:27:36,187 Don't worry. 1393 01:27:36,187 --> 01:27:38,896 Oh, and don't forget to change his diaper. 1394 01:27:38,896 --> 01:27:39,687 I've never forgotten that. 1395 01:27:39,687 --> 01:27:41,853 Yes, but you always forget to put cream on his butt. 1396 01:27:41,853 --> 01:27:45,478 And buy noodles and vegetable broth. Organic, please. 1397 01:27:45,478 --> 01:27:48,437 - Don't worry, it's all under... - Yeah, right, control! 1398 01:27:48,437 --> 01:27:51,021 OK, and be on time. Don't come 20 minutes late, as usual. 1399 01:27:51,021 --> 01:27:53,020 - Goodbye. - Bye. 1400 01:27:55,062 --> 01:27:55,978 Hello. 1401 01:27:55,978 --> 01:27:57,437 Hi, Amida. 1402 01:27:58,187 --> 01:27:59,021 Where's Paolino? 1403 01:27:59,021 --> 01:28:01,020 With Maria's mother. I'll pick him up later. 1404 01:28:01,646 --> 01:28:03,771 Abdul made him some Algerian makruts. 1405 01:28:03,771 --> 01:28:05,937 I'll give them to him. Maybe I'll eat one myself. 1406 01:28:05,937 --> 01:28:08,603 - He made them for you too. - Thank you. 1407 01:28:08,603 --> 01:28:10,600 - Bye! - Bye! 1408 01:28:10,600 --> 01:28:11,603 Good night. 1409 01:28:11,603 --> 01:28:13,353 How about we all go to the Way of Sorrows? 1410 01:28:13,353 --> 01:28:15,937 Michele really wants you to go, you know that. 1411 01:28:15,937 --> 01:28:17,478 - Tonight? - Yeah. 1412 01:28:27,187 --> 01:28:30,978 All the chief priests and elders of the people... 1413 01:28:32,146 --> 01:28:36,228 ..took counsel against Jesus 1414 01:28:36,228 --> 01:28:38,219 to put him to death. 1415 01:28:40,187 --> 01:28:44,478 And when they had bound him, 1416 01:28:44,478 --> 01:28:46,896 they led him away, and delivered him to Pontius Pilate... 1417 01:28:46,896 --> 01:28:49,021 Last year's events really changed him. 1418 01:28:49,021 --> 01:28:51,396 This year he hasn't complained about anything. 1419 01:28:51,396 --> 01:28:58,812 ..And when he had Jesus scourged, he delivered him to be crucified. 1420 01:29:00,271 --> 01:29:03,937 Oh, Lord, oh, my Master, 1421 01:29:03,937 --> 01:29:07,146 lead me to the road of truth... 1422 01:29:07,146 --> 01:29:10,353 Smile. Smile at your future husband. 1423 01:29:10,353 --> 01:29:12,350 ..Take me by the hand. 1424 01:29:14,312 --> 01:29:21,187 Take me to Gethsemane and let me find eternal peace... 1425 01:29:21,187 --> 01:29:25,353 Oh, Lord, oh, my Master, 1426 01:29:26,396 --> 01:29:29,937 lead me to the road of truth. 1427 01:29:30,812 --> 01:29:32,603 Take me by the hand. 1428 01:29:32,603 --> 01:29:41,353 Take me to Gethsemane and let me find eternal life. 1429 01:29:43,312 --> 01:29:52,896 Mother of God, pray for us sinners... and lead us not into... 1430 01:29:55,853 --> 01:29:57,728 Oh, no! You cannot be serious! 1431 01:29:57,728 --> 01:30:02,062 Here! Find someone else! Please! 1432 01:30:04,646 --> 01:30:05,646 Enough. 1433 01:30:07,603 --> 01:30:09,521 Enough. Enough. 1434 01:30:11,103 --> 01:30:12,062 Enough. 1435 01:30:14,687 --> 01:30:17,187 Enough! Enough! Enough! 1436 01:30:19,146 --> 01:30:23,896 Nobody should ever be crucified again! 1437 01:30:34,187 --> 01:30:37,187 Last year a Mormon! 1438 01:30:37,187 --> 01:30:39,187 This year a ho... 1439 01:30:39,187 --> 01:30:41,180 Granpa! 1440 01:31:56,353 --> 01:31:59,187 Forgive me...